European Vacation Leads to Hilarious Breakup

They say the key to a healthy relationship is listening to your partner. Never has this been made so starkly evident as in the sad but hilarious story of JD and Em, which is currently burning up the Internet.

While JD claims he talked extensively with his girlfriend about the two-week backpacking trip he was about to take in Europe, she didn't seem to get the message. Below, read the highlights of the two-week chain of unanswered e-mails in which she gets angrier and angrier at his lack of response.

Friday June 1
Hey hun, me again. Tried calling your cell a few times today but it kept going right to voicemail. You're not screening me are you?;)

Sunday, June 3
Why are you not responding to my calls and emails? Where are you?! I waited all night for you to get in touch with me. I'm not happy here babe.

Tuesday June 5
Why are you avoiding me? You're not answering your cell, you won't return my texts.... JD wtf?! I know you're around! Your friend jeremy is such a bullsh***er. When he said he hadn't seen you all weekend I could hear you talking in the background

As JD checks out the old world, the poor guy gets dumped, taken back dumped again and cheated on -- all unbeknownst to him.

Tuesday, June 5
We're through... don't call me, don't text me, don't bother now. You'll never know what you lost, I was the one, and now I feel sorry for you because you'll never have that again. I feel so sorry for you, ha ha ha.

Sunday June 10
Remember that friend of mine that you were jealous of who I said that nuffin ever will happen with well I was crying with him about you and he told me how amazing I was, how he always though so and so I f*****d him to show you I'm right! Now who's the stupid one?

Tuesday June 12
I'm mad and hurt right now. I really felt something between us and now you've gone and thrown it all away and I have no idea why. . . . I know you'll call me tonight. We have a lot to discuss. A lot of bad and good. It may not change things and we may still be broken up, but you at least owe me a conversation. A chance.

Thursday June 14
I tried to reach out to you JD, I really did. But I take back all those nice things I said. I'm glad we're broken up. ... I pretended so many times to like the stupid shows you like, to watch the stupid movies you like, to enjoy spending time with your asinine friends. I've moved on.

The day before JD gets home, Em finally manages to get in touch with his mom, who informs her that he is, in fact, on vacation.

Thursday June 14
subject: OPEN FIRST!!! DO NOT READY ANY OTHER EMAILS!!!
If you love me, you will delete every email I've sent you over the past week without reading it.

JD reads the e-mails, effectively ending their relationship.

Hand models: $1,200 a day would you believe it??

Her hands have been featured caressing a Spanish-speaking sponge for a Dawn dish detergent commercial; and fondling a Hamilton Beach iron. And do you know that body models can make from $1,200 a day and up.

The only hand model who can profess a fan base is Kimbra Hickey, whose hands were on the cover of the hit vampire book Twilight. And in order to claim her rightful place in the adulation of Twilight readers, Hickey had to march into bookstores where people were lined up to buy the book and inform them that those were her hands on the cover!

To think they simply didn't recognize them by their distinct lack of veins, pores and flaws! Then, "before you know it, I had a line of people waiting for autographs... I feel lucky just to be a part of it."

Honestly? I feel lucky not to be a parts model.

Kate Gosselin Wears Wedding Ring for Children's Sake

Even with their divorce pending, Kate Gosselin says, when asked if she still loves her soon-to-be ex, Jon Gosselin: "When I think back to the Jon I knew – yes, suffice it to say."

However, the star of TLC's Kate & Jon Plus 8, who continues to wear her wedding ring, says that's not because of any hope of reuniting with Jon. Speaking on Monday's Today show in her first live TV interview since her marriage ended seven weeks ago, Kate broke into tears as she told the program's Meredith Vieira that the ring remains on her finger because "I don't want to upset [the children]."

Is it just me or do the rest of you have the desire to HURL when hearing this one talk about her life?

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Tracy Morgan Files for Divorce From Wife of 23 Years

The slow demise of Tracy Morgan's marriage to his high school sweetheart is one step closer to playing out.

On Friday, the '30 Rock' star filed for divorce from his his wife of 23 years, Sabina, though it's believed the pair have been separated for about eight years.

"Basically they were divorced without the paperwork," one friend told the NY Daily News. "It seems like he has had a different girlfriend every five months or so. In the past three years, I've met three girlfriends."

Morgan, 40, and his estranged wife have three sons. No surprise here. All these people seem to forget about those who have been with them through thick and thin once they become famous.

Victoria Beckham Tapped As Paula Abdul's Idol Replacement?

American Idol just a got a little more posh -- maybe.

The UK Daily Mail repored Thursday that Victoria Beckham was called Wednesday by the show's Simon Cowell in hopes of having her replace Abdul on the judges table. The former Spice Girl has inked to be a judge on at least one episode this season.

The wife of David Beckham might be a good judge because of her honesty in evaluating performers: even herself.

"I worked hard at it," she said of her entertainment career, according to the Web site. "I was never going to be the best singer or dancer."

Abdul Wednesday made her feelings known regarding her status on the top-rated TV show on Twitter, writing "With sadness in my heart, I've decided not to return to Idol."

Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler Falls Off Stage; Taken To Hospital

Steven Tyler fell off the stage during a performance Wednesday night and had to be taken to the hospital.

The 61-year-old, pouty-lipped Boston native fell off the catwalk on the stage he was dancing on, during an outdoor concert at the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally gathering at the Buffalo Chip Campground in Rapid City, South Dakota.

Guess they'll be no "love in an elevator tonight!'

Bloody Shirt Found Inside Michael Jackson's Bedroom Closet

RadarOnline.com has obtained never-before-seen, bombshell photographs taken inside Michael Jackson's bedroom, where he went into cardiac arrest on June 25 -- the day Jackson died.

One shocking photo shows a bloody shirt hanging in Michael's closet. Surprisingly, the shirt has a price tag still attached to it, suggesting that the shirt was never worn, and perhaps was used to wipe up blood. If that is the case, the big question is - why wouldn't investigators have removed it from the scene as evidence into the probe into the pop icon's death?

The chilling photos were snapped just days after Jackson's stunning death as the case became a criminal investigation.

In the same closet where the bloodied shirt was found, sources say Dr. Conrad Murray -- Jackson's personal physician -- had stored large amounts of the powerful anesthetic Propofol along with I.V. equipment.

Dr. Murray remains a focus of the investigation into Jackson's death. Federal and state authorities have searced his offices in Houston and Las Vegas as they try to determine if Murray was illegally supplying and administering Propofol to the King Of Pop, and if that led to his death.

Results of Jackson's autopsy have yet to be released.