Hold the Wedding, Levi's ex-girlfriend is prego!

Bristol Palin's friends have told RadarOnline.com that she is heartbroken after finding out that her fiance Levi Johnston may have impregnated his ex-girlfriend, Lanesia Garcia. In fact, Bristol may be having second thoughts about going through with the wedding, although a Palin family representative said, "no official decision has been made."

Earlier in the week, the National Enquirer reported that Garcia was pregnant and she and Johnston were together when he was single last year. A source says that Johnston claims the baby isn't his, but that, "Levi is one of three possible fathers who were with Lanesia during the probable week of conception."

In 2008, Garcia talked to UK's News Of The World, revealing that she and Levi were in a three-year-long relationship before her then-best friend Bristol stole him away from her. Via PopCrunch:

Here's what Lanesia said at the time: "I didn't believe it, I never dreamt she was capable of doing that to me. But when I called her she just said, 'I'm so sorry, I couldn't help it. Levi and I are together now and I think he's the man for me.' I put the phone down and have not talked to her since. I was distraught for a year -- I missed Bristol desperately but also Sarah, who was like a second mom to me. Neither of them have tried to contact me, though -- which says something about how ruthless they can be. The phrase Sarah used comparing herself to a lipstick-wearing pit bull is spot on."

Don't Ask Demi Moore how her Cleanse is going...

After doing the Master Cleanse with her husband earlier this month, Demi Moore moved immediately into another "healthier" diet.

On Monday a fan asked Demi how many days she had stuck to the Master Cleanse, which involves consuming nothing but lemon juice, cayenne pepper and maple syrup.

"Only 4 but 2day's day 13 4me on The Clean Program! http://j.mp/a6N7qm RT @MirandaMartinez day 30 of Master Cleanse! How many days did u do?" she tweeted.

The Clean Program is the creation of Dr. Alejandro Junger, who helped Giuliana Rancic and Gwyneth Paltrow lose weight. It is a 21-day regimen of smoothies, and salads for dinner are allowed.

When one of Demi's followers politely said she was not interested in the Clean Program because "healthy diet & exercise are all that's required," Demi got defensive.

"@chazzyb31 I think you need to research what it is I am doing there is no starving involved! It is all about nourishing the body!" she tweeted. And: "@ElenorRigby yeah I think she doesn't know what she is talking about!"

Later a fan asked Demi for tips on getting through the Master Cleanse, and Demi admitted there are healthier things than the severe diet she just two weeks ago declared was "all about health!!!"

Are All White Foods bad for you?

Over the last decade, white foods have gotten a bad rap. We're talking about any foods that contain white sugar or refined white flour. Also known as simple carbohydrates, these foods raise blood sugar levels faster than complex carbohydrates like whole wheat products. Most white foods are processed, excluding vegetables like cauliflower, potatoes and others. Ironically, most foods don't start out white.

Manufacturers bleach flour and sugar and heavily process these products making them a former shell of the whole foods they once were. Most white foods have been stripped of their nutritional value. They also have less fiber and vitamins than their whole wheat counterparts, which also have greater nutritional density. White foods have become so taboo there is even a "no white foods diet" that eliminates all white foods that are boxed, packaged, canned, refined, baked and processed. That means anything with flour, salt, sugar, white rice and potatoes.

According to the "no white foods diet, " these foods not only stimulate but escalate cravings for all things evil - cookies, chips, pies, donuts, etc. White foods tend to be higher in starches which break down into sugar. It's important to keep in mind that all white foods are not created equal. There are plenty of these foods that should have a permanent place on your food repertoire. Among the white foods you'll want to keep around: endives, garlic, ginger, artichokes, jicama, turnips, shallots, onions, mushrooms, white peaches, pears, potatoes and white nectarines.

Some nutritionists aren't so quick to jump on the anti-white bandwagon. Christine Avanti, author of Skinny Chicks Don't Eat Salads, maintains that white foods in moderation are okay if eaten with proteins. The balance of protein and carbs stabilizes the blood sugar and prevents the carb crash that usually occurs post white food consumption. She also points to cauliflower, potatoes, skim milk and yogurt for white foods that do a body good.

Surprise in new LOST box set on Jimmy Kimmel

What to Expect with Closing Costs on a purchase of a home

Renada, a New Yorker ready to make the switch from renter to owner, thought she'd sailed through the home buying process. She was approved for a loan, found a condominium in Hell's Kitchen and signed a purchase agreement, all in a relatively short period of time. She expected more of the same during her closing appointment. As she reviewed the closing paperwork, though, she realized that she was in unknown and unexpected territory: The list of fees associated with her purchase was dizzyingly long, and the price tag higher than she'd imagined.

"Everything came to a stop," she said. "I don't get it! There's a title fee, an escrow fee, insurance. It's too much fine print for me."

Disney Sells Miramax for a cool $660 Million

Walt Disney Co. has sold Miramax, Reuters reports. Filmyard Holdings LLC bought the film studio for more than $660 million, securing rights to Miramax hits like Shakespeare in Love and No Country for Old Men. Disney acquired Miramax for $80 million in 1993 from its founders, brothers Harvey and Bob Weinstein.

'Inception' Parody clip

Everyone’s still talking about the last scene of Inception. (I guess I should put a SPOILER ALERT here for anyone who somehow hasn’t gotten around to seeing it.) Does Cobb’s personal top keep spinning? Does it fall? Is he still dreaming or back in reality?

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Jersey Shore's Baaaack!

If you’re looking for a metaphor to describe tonight’s second-season premiere of Jersey Shore, how about the SUV that The Situation and Pauly D drove into a South Carolina corn field during their road-trip to Miami? Tires spinning, covered in filth, and sinking under its own unfeasible weight, the vehicle needed not one, but two tow-trucks to drag it back to a functioning position. I’m not sure if there’s a similar service available for overexposed reality-show participants, but oh what I wouldn’t have given to see a character named Triple A round up Snooki, JWoww, Angelina, The Situation, Ronnie, Pauly D, and the super boring dude with the carefully sculpted eyebrows for either a badly needed tuneup or a trip to the scrap heap.

Yeah, I’m being harsh, but do Jersey Shore‘s pack of self-proclaimed guidos and guidettes really deserve better? My problem with tonight’s episode wasn’t the fact that every word and action from the cast was a total contrivance — that’d be like going to McDonald’s and being outraged that your Big Mac didn’t come served on fine china — but that said contrivances were so thoroughly and exhaustingly void of humor, originality, or even genuine outlandishness.

Such a short way into their celebrity life-cycle, you can practically feel the Jersey Shore kids buying into their own hype, believing they needn’t do anything beyond just showing up, of going through the motions of what they think the show’s producers think their lives should look like: “Eyebrows” declares his “60 girls in 60 days” policy with all the sexual fervor of a movie-theater concessions clerk telling you that you can upgrade to a medium combo for only fifty cents more. Angelina (who even in her dreams isn’t an eighth as bawdy-hilarious as Khloe Kardashian) goes to a salon to get a Brazilian wax, but can’t think of anything more clever to say than “The bitch of Staten Island is back and ready to f****** party!” And oh, how about Ronnie and Sammi? He calls her an unspeakable insult — hint: it rhymes with grunt — and she goes home and films a confessional saying she still loves and cares about him because, well, without a will-they-won’t-they story arc to perpetuate, she’ll just be a third banana to Snooki and JWoww. (Spoiler alert: She still is anyway!)

But I’m supposed to be writing a jaunty recap, not a self-help manual for young women with severe self-esteem issues or a screed against what’s wrong with pretty much everything ever. So let’s do an alphabetical rundown of our players and what they got up to this week:

Angelina: “I feel like in the world, everybody deserves a second shot,” she declared at the top of the show, though whether she was talking about Patrón, Jägermeister, or redemption is anyone’s guess. Our Lady of Misunderstood Intentions/Achingly Unselfaware Blathering then “surprised” her estranged cast-mates by flying to Miami and foisting herself on them for a second season. Angelina was allowed to bunk with Pauly D and The Situation on the off chance that they experienced a “slow night” with “no chicks” and a rainy forecast. (Silly me, and here I thought that’s why God invented the Wii.) Angelina, who spent most of the episode in shorts so skimpy that the pockets hung below her cuffs like sad, drooping tongues, found herself getting the icy cold shoulder from Snooki and JWoww — that is until she got into a cab with them, participated in an unintelligible but very loud verbal altercation, and then announced in her confessional: “I’m tryin’ to be classy right now.” Someone raise a “mission accomplished” banner in that young woman’s honor!

Eyebrows: Coined the word “obliviated” to describe Ronnie’s alarmingly drunken state. Otherwise seemed to exist merely to offer expository sound bites for the show’s editing team.

JWoww: Road-tripped it to Miami with Snooki, and somehow found time to change into an elegant pink sequined dress before entering the cast’s shared apartment at Metropole Hotel Apartments. (Newsflash: The hottub is gonna need a few more years before it’s safe again.) I loved the way JWoww got all puffed up when she realized Angelina was in the house, declaring “I’m not gonna let a girl be catty and get away with it and live in my house without getting her ass beat.” (Wait, if the girl is in your house and going to get her ass beat, then how come you’re also implying she got away with it? Discuss!) I couldn’t understand half of what JWoww said while attempting to scramble over the back seat of the rental car and apply a coat of smackdown to Angelina — a steady succession of bleeps will do that to one’s listening comprehension — but it sure made Sammi and Snooki laugh.

Pauly D: Implied he drunkenly hooked up with Angelina in L.A. during the Jersey Shore offseason. I’d like to see a polygraph, Mr. D.

Ronnie: I nominate Ronnie for ABC’s next Bachelor. Just think about the unique attributes he brings to the game: Able to make out with two women at the same time (handy during two-on-one dates); doesn’t discriminate against strippers (allowing for a wider casting net of bachelorettes); states the obvious with wit and panache (“I’m in Miami, bitch!” he shouted to no one in particular); and did we mention his expressive use of the c-word? But don’t take my testimonial for it, take Sammi’s: “I love him and still care about him.” Wait, is she saying she would absolutely accept his rose? But here’s my burning question about Ronnie: Why in the name of all that’s Jersey would all those unidentified women make out with the lumbering lummox — in plain view of MTV’s cameras? People aren’t that desperate to be on TV, right? Discuss!

Sammi: Oh enough about this one and her issues, already! (At least till she has a physical altercation with JWoww.)

Snooki: Okay, I know I was pushing Ronnie for Bachelor, but with the way Snooki described her relationship with her “amazing gorilla juicehead” boyfriend, it sounded like she was advocating the launch of Bumpit of Love on VH1 in the not-so-distant future. “I really don’t wanna cheat. Like seriously, I don’t want to. But y’know, if you’re gonna hand me a bottle of freakin’ SoCo [translation: Southern Comfort?], something just comes over me, and like I just go crazy,” Snooki said. Later, she got political: “I don’t go tanning-tanning anymore. Obama put a 10 percent tax on tanning. And I feel like he did that intentionally to us. McCain would never put a 10 percent tax on tanning because he’s pale and he would probably wanna be tan. Obama doesn’t have that problem, obviously.” What more is there to say than that, really? Actually, I should observe that Snooki’s thrice-daily bronzer looks like it comes in a container of diner syrup.

The Situation: While the late Princess Diana spent a lot of her adult life trying to raise awareness of land mines, I’m not sure she’d be exactly flattered to find that Sitchu is attempting to make the phrase happen as a code word for “thin ugly chick,” or that he’s using the term “grenade” to label “bigger ugly chicks.” Sigh. But let’s not waste the pretty and instead part ways reviewing this overly long, but truly poetic sound bite, from the Sitchu himself: “It was a crazy amount of tension. I mean, it was so thick you could probably like slice it down the middle in the air. That’s how thick it was.” Alrighty then!

What did you think of the second-season premiere of Jersey Shore? Will it be as much of a phenomenon as it was during season 1? Share your thoughts below

Kanye West Joins Twitter

In the day since Kanye West joined Twitter, he’s already become arguably the site’s single funniest user. I’m not even kidding.

Take the update he posted earlier this afternoon, just one of dozens so far: “I think Twitter was designed specifically with me in mind just my humble opinion hahhhahaaaahaaa humble hahahahhahaahaaaa.” Exactly. His context-free one-liners are Twitter at its best.

Kanye’s most fascinating tweets document the expensive objects around him. He spent a decent stretch of yesterday afternoon cracking wise about an allegedly tiny jet. Today he’s been posting photos of various regal housewares with deadpan captions. “I hate half empty water bottles so I copped these #goblets to drink out of.” “I copped this to eat cereal out of turning the crib real Kingish.” “I’m just saying… what’s your credenza game…#DON’TTALKTOME!!!” My favorite of this subgenre of Kanye tweets is the one pictured at the top of this post. “I specifically ordered persian rugs with cherub imagery!!! What do I have to do to get a simple persian rug with cherub imagery uuuuugh.”

Did he even buy any of that stuff, or is it part of the joke? Does it matter? He’s playing with the audience’s perception of him as a wealthy egomaniac while simultaneously being just that. Bragging about himself and satirizing himself, at the same time, all the time, like some sort of Schröedinger’s Rapper. When his pal Aziz Ansari started a gently mocking “#PredictingKanyeTweets” hashtag, Kanye just…retweeted him. You can’t laugh at him for being narcissistic, because he’s already right there laughing at himself. I think.

That’s only one side of what Kanye has done on Twitter to date. He’s also shouted out tons of blogs (including the Music Mix) for covering him, marveled at his follower count (255,000 and counting), and riffed on classical music (“Leonard Bernstein is the s—!!!”) and dating supermodels (“I had to learn to like small dogs and cigarettes”). It adds up to our most direct route yet to what Kanye’s thinking as he’s thinking it — like his blog at its caps-lock-ranting height, but even less filtered and a lot more light-hearted. Maybe this is something like what the show Kanye was developing with Curb Your Enthusiasm‘s Larry Charles would have been like if HBO hadn’t passed.

What do you think of Kanye West’s tweets so far? Several sites have attempted to round up his best messages, but really, you should just go follow him now and read ‘em all. There’s no telling what he’ll say next.

Jennifer Lopez in as new 'American Idol' judge!

Image Credit: Kyle Rover/startraksphoto.com

Jennifer Lopez has inked a deal to join American Idol‘s judging panel for its upcoming 10th season, an industry source tells People. The news dropped just hours after Ellen DeGeneres confirmed her exit from the show, despite having only served one year of a reported multi-season deal.

Lopez served as an Idol mentor on Latin night during the show’s sixth season, garnering generally positive reviews for her warm, candid style, and her ability to extract a not entirely terrible performance of “Bésame Mucho” from widely maligned contestant Sanjaya Malakar.

A Fox spokesperson declined to comment on the reported deal with Lopez. Calls and emails to Fremantle Media, American Idol spokespersons, and Lopez’s reps were not immediately returned.

Ellen Leaving 'American Idol'

Image Credit: Andrew Eccles

Fox announced today that Ellen DeGeneres has decided to step down from her role as a judge on American Idol. DeGeneres joined the panel in its ninth season. The network released this statement today: “A couple months ago, I let Fox and the American Idol producers know that this didn’t feel like the right fit for me,” said DeGeneres. “I told them I wouldn’t leave them in a bind and that I would hold off on doing anything until they were able to figure out where they wanted to take the panel next. It was a difficult decision to make, but my work schedule became more than I bargained for. I also realized this season that while I love discovering, supporting and nurturing young talent, it was hard for me to judge people and sometimes hurt their feelings. I loved the experience working on IDOL and I am very grateful for the year I had. I am a huge fan of the show and will continue to be.”

Fox released a statement of its own: “We love Ellen and understand and support her decision to bow out of Idol,” said Peter Rice, Chairman of Entertainment, Fox Networks Group. “We were fortunate to receive the humor, energy and love for talent that she brought to the show.” Added Idol creator Simon Fuller in a statement: “I loved Ellen’s passion for the artists and her nurturing skills. She brought honesty and optimism to our judging panel and I will miss her greatly.”

News of DeGeneres’ departure comes amid reports that former Idol executive producer Nigel Lythgoe is all but certain to return to the show for its 10th season and that he reportedly favors an entirely new slate of judges for the competition show to make up for the loss of Simon Cowell, who left at the end of Idol’s ninth season to launch a U.S.-based version of his popular British series The X Factor. Complicating matters could be the fact that current judge Randy Jackson is reportedly signed through next year.

On Wednesday, a source told EW that the network’s dream scenario would be to make a splashy announcement about Idol’s future at the annual Television Critics Tour session with journalists on Monday in Beverly Hills. “They’d be the talk of TCA, and the message to other networks would essentially be, ‘Follow that!’” says the source. EW also learned that despite their names surfacing as potential Cowell replacements earlier this week, both Justin Timberlake and Elton John’s meetings with Idol producers took place “a couple months ago.”

Even though she seemed committed to her new gig at Fox, it was hard to imagine DeGeneres wanting to stick around if and when Cowell bolted. In January, she told EW that “If Simon goes, I go!” when asked to comment on rumors that the irascible Brit was preparing to leave at season’s end. Meanwhile, feedback for her performance was generally mixed: Though DeGeneres offered real critiques during the Hollywood round, she came off as bland and predictable during the live shows by often telling everyone they were “great.”