Casting the (Intevitable) Tiger Woods Made-for-TV Movie

Much like any massive and dramatic news story nowadays, we're guessing the Tiger Woods sex affair scandal is sure to wind up as a (likely terrible) made-for-TV movie (we're thinking ESPN or Spike) at some point. So, rather than sit around and wait for it to actually get made, the PopEater crew went ahead and picked the cast to expedite the whole process. Wasn't that nice of us? So, after the jump, see who we picked to play Tiger, Elin, and all of the other ladies involved.

Tiger Woods
Role in Scandal: Famous golfer; alleged cheater
Who We Picked: Donald Faison
What He's Been In: 'Scrubs,' 'Clueless'
Why We Picked Him: Faison has always done comedy acting in the past, so we'd love to see what he can do with a serious, understated personality like that of Tiger.

Elin Nordegren
Role in Scandal: Swedish model; Tiger's wife
Who We Picked: Amy Smart
What She's Been In: 'Road Trip,' 'Crank'
Why We Picked Her:Simply put, few actresses (or humans) could be as beautiful as Tiger's supermodel wife ... but we think Amy comes pretty darn close. Her facial features are scarily similar to Elin's and her hair wouldn't require a whole lot of bleaching to get that Swedish look. Start sizing up those bikinis, Amy!

Rachel Uchitel
Role in Scandal: Alleged Mistress # 1
Who We Picked: Audrina Patridge
What She's Been In: 'The Hills,' 'Sorority Row'
Why We Picked Her: The aviator shades, the long brunette locks ... visually, Audrina seems like the dead-on choice to play the woman who started Tiger-gate. Another acting class or two, and we think this could be Emmy-worthy!

Jaimee Grubbs
Role in Scandal: Alleged Mistress # 2
Who We Picked: Rachel Bilson
What She's Been In: 'The O.C.,' 'Jumper'
Why We Picked Her:Rachel Bilson doesn't get enough work in our eyes. She's gorgeous in that unsuspected way that very few people have, and judging from what we've seen of Miss Grubbs, they share similarly puffy lips.

Kalika Moquin
Role in Scandal: Alleged Mistress # 3
Who We Picked: Minka Kelly
What She's Been In: 'Friday Night Lights,' '(500) Days of Summer'
Why We Picked Her: Sure, there's visual similarities, but the truth is that Miss Kelly has won our hearts as Lyla Garrity on 'FNL,' and we think more people should have the gift of Minka in their lives.

Gloria Allred
Role in Scandal: Lawyer to Rachel Uchitel
Who We Picked: Tina Fey
What She's Been In: 'SNL,' '30 Rock,' 'Mean Girls'
Why We Picked Her: As the world saw with Tina's flawless Sarah Palin impression during last year's election, the lady can sport a mean suit-jacket. Judging by her comedic chops that we've seen, we think she could pull off the caricature-esque methodology and stylings of Allred's career.

'Lost' promo that has 'Lost' fans-and even its producer-buzzing

Team Lost is keeping mum and staying dark about the contents of the show’s final season, set to premiere on February 2. The producers have even said they would rather not include any footage from the final slate of episodes in promos and advertising. Consequently, the show’s network partners around the world have been forced to come up with creative solutions for touting the show–and Lost’s Spanish carrier, Cuatro, has set the bar pretty damn high with a just-released promo that’s stirring a buzz storm among fans. It’s so cool, it even caused Lost exec producer Cartlon Cuse to tweet a rave via Twitter: “Best Lost promo I’ve ever seen…” If you haven’t seen it, you can check it out below.

So many things I love about this piece, from the ominous narration to the use of special effects to transpose characters like Ben, Locke, Sawyer and Kate from the show onto the chessboard motif. And how about that Four Toed Statue piece, brought down with a proverbial hand of God with so much thunder and shake! The poem definitely evokes the famous season 1 scene when Locke taught Walt about backgammon: “Two sides. Two players. One is light, the other is dark.” (Watch that scene again: not only filled with Jacob/Man In Black resonance, but just really, really, really poignant/creepy/cool.) I could do a big Doc Jensen investigation into the ad–but instead, I’m going to direct you to a Lost fan named Ms. Teri, who has a blog called “Lost For A Reason” and who has just posted a pretty great analysis of the promo and the poem. After you digest her sweet scholarship, come back her and check out my new column, which includes news about the forthcoming Lost season five DVD and some theory about Jacob and MIB. But before you do ANYTHING, answer these two questions: 1. What do you think of Lost’s minimal-to-no advertising strategy? 2. What do you think of the Spanish promo?

See ya: 'Ugly Betty' moving to Wednesdays

Since Ugly Betty got its groove back this season, only one thing’s been holding it back: that godawful Friday time slot! But thankfully, that problem will soon be solved. Sources confirm for me that the show’s moving to Wednesdays at 10 pm/ET, most likely when it returns from its holiday hiatus in January.

If you don’t think it’s good news that Betty is joining what will soon be ABC’s all-comedy night (even though the network isn’t confirming the schedule change yet), trust me, or trust Mike, who has to be among its biggest cheerleaders, you haven’t seen it lately. It’s great!

So what do you think? Will more viewers check out and/or return to the series when it escapes from its Friday purgatory and joins the Wednesday laffers? And if not, how sucktacular will that be? Debate below.

Breaking: 'Ugly Betty' hunk joins 'True Blood'

Where True Blood is concerned, people make an awful lotta jokes about fresh meat. But this time it seems unusually apropos: The HBO hit’s just added two slabs of beefcake to its season 3 lineup.

Grant Bowler (pictured, right), fondly remembered as Wilhelmina’s lamster lover Connor Owens on Ugly Betty, has been tapped to play Coot, the leader of a pack of werewolf bikers. And Theo Alexander (left), an up-and-comer whose resume is already full of guest appearances (Chuck, Pushing Daisies… ), has been cast as Talbot, the fanged significant other of Denis O’Hare’s Mississippi vampire king, Russell Edgington.

Opinions? You’ve got ‘em. I want ‘em.

First Look: Kudrow and Cox reunite on 'Cougar Town'

There will be something conspicuously missing when Friends costar Lisa Kudrow guests on Courteney Cox’s ABC sitcom, Cougar Town, on Jan. 6: friendship.

“They didn’t want to play friends,” says executive producer Bill Lawrence, who quickly came up with a different role for Kudrow. “She plays a dermatologist who is a horrible, horrible person, but [Cox] goes to her because she’s the best. The [sight] of them playing people who dislike each other intensely was very funny for me to watch.”

If the execution is half as funny as the set-up, I think this is going to be a winner. What do you think? Excited to see the friends morph into enemies?

Subway Guy Falls Off The Diet Wagon

Jared Fogle, a.k.a., "the Subway guy" was recently spotted in the Miami airport toting some extra baggage -- and not the kind on two wheels either.

Nearly a decade ago, we watched in awe when commercials aired about the young 20-year-old college student who lost 245 pounds by eating Subway sandwiches for lunch and dinner every day. Now we're watching again as the sandwich chain's spokesman has apparently fallen off his own diet.

While he still tweets about eating Subway (wouldn't you if you got free subs?), it appears the Subway guy has taken a break from eating fresh as much as he used to. According to Subway's web site, "Jared still enjoys his favorite SUBWAY sandwich, but has eased himself into eating other foods. He always chooses foods low in fat and limits the amount of alcoholic beverages. He still drinks only "diet" beverages and continues his walking regimen."

No one can blame a guy for wanting more of a variety of food -- after all, eating subs every day for years had to get kinda boring. But straying too far from his staple of turkey and veggie subs has obviously caused his waistline to spread as quickly as mayonnaise.

It appears Jared is still visiting schools and events across the country to promote the Jared Foundation which Subway established in 2004 to help fight childhood obesity and encourage kids to lead healthy lifestyles. As part of his presentation, he shows the crowd his iconic 60 inch fat pants. Just two months ago he told the kids at Thurman White Middle School in Nevada that staying healthy and keeping fit are "so important".

Let's hope those fat pants stay off the Subway guy and the extra toppings around his middle are just a temporary set-back.

Irate Parnevik on Tiger: I Hope She Uses Driver Next Time Instead of the 3-Iron

Jesper Parnevik has some advice for Tiger Woods.

"Maybe not just do it, like Nike says," Parnevik said Wednesday after finishing first-round play at the PGA Tour's final-stage of qualifying being held at Bear Lakes Country Club.

Parnevik was responding to Woods' admission Wednesday that he had apologized for being unfaithful to wife Elin.

Before Woods married the Swedish bikini model in October 2004, Elin Nordegren and her twin sister Josefin worked as au pairs for Jasper and Mia Parnevik.

They introduced the pair, something Parnevik now sounds like he regrets.

"I would be especially sad about it since I'm kind of -- I feel really sorry for Elin -- since me and my wife were at fault for hooking her up with him," Parnevik said. "We probably thought he was a better guy than he is. I would probably need to apologize to her and hope she uses a driver next time instead of the 3-iron."

Parnevik said he has had no contact with Woods since rumors and speculation began to circulate.

"It's a private thing of course," he said. "But when you are the guy he is, the world's best athlete, you should think more before you do stuff."

World's Best Santa Chosen at Santa Games

Just another reason why I say China is poised to take over the world. He says Ho, Ho, Ho with a Cantonese accent, but Hong Kong's Jim Chan is the world's best Santa. No, really, it's official. He is.

He earned the crown for his "porridge eating skills" according to media reports out of Sweden, home of the Santa Games, where Kris Kringles from across the globe have been shaking their bellies for the title.

This year's is the sixth installment, although the last competition was held in 2007 with an Aussie Santa grabbing the crown. David Dawney used kangaroos to practice for the reindeer driving portion of the competition.

Chan, who is credited as Chang in some news reports but is indeed Chan, was one of the leaders back in 2007, but 2009 he bested them all at present wrapping, chimney climbing and of course porridge eating. While he doesn't speak Swedish or English, Chang was able to proclaim "Merry Christmas!" in his native Cantonese. How many Santas can do that?

A magician back in his native Hong Kong, Chan says he loves playing with kids, which went a long way toward becoming the best. After all, official rules of the Santa Games state:

Santa has to be nice to everyone, especially children.
Santa has to be completely sober.
Santa [suit] has to be clean and looking its Santa best (red or gray and white)!
Santa can have a big beard, but not a silly mask.

Don't drink the Kool-Aid

Now this happens to be a great article by Dana Hilfinger (Editor-In-Chief) out of the Campus Times of the University of Rochester. I thought I would feature it on the blog today.

In 2000, the French government passed a bill mandating the adoption of a 35-hour work week in hopes of lowering unemployment rates. While the system has barely touched the roots of France’s unemployment problems, the mere fact that the French would be open to the idea of mandating a shorter work week does raise a rather shocking question: Have the French actually been doing something right all along (besides cheese)?

According to one major coffee conglomerate, “America runs on Dunkin’”; this slogan is not so far from the truth. While college is hardly an accurate model of the real world, it is hard to ignore the number of UR students, professors and administrators who show signs of sleep deprivation and stress. This problem has manifested into a society that relies on frozen dinners, one-stop shopping centers named Wal-Mart and convenience at seemingly any cost, because there is “just so much to do in a day.”

That being said, let’s not pretend that the sole reason Americans work too much is because of government regulations — the real roots are cultural. Perhaps it has been partially mediated by the college admissions process, which encourages individuals to participate in a large assortment of activities — rather than devote their energy more selectively — in order to prove their quality. Or we’ve drank a little too much of the “American Dream” Kool-Aid that makes us think if you work enough, you can do anything. Or maybe it’s mottos like “Meliora,” which reinforce the middle-child syndrome, where the emphasis is really not that we can be always better, but that we’re never good enough.

Then again, these ideals might not actually be the problem — but how we’ve interpreted them is a little troubling. Somewhere along the line, the concept of hard work was confused with the idea that you must work more. The superficial results have been prolific — the United States is arguably the most competitive developed country in the world, and that’s likely a result of people cashing in on overtime. But dig a bit beneath the surface and we begin to see more negative aspects of society that have come, at least partially, as a result of spreading ourselves too thin — the prevalence of depression and suicides, a dependency on time spent on the psychiatrist’s couch and, especially recently, a seeming lack of effort in personal and family life. How many families, after all, sit down for dinner together anymore on a nightly basis? Or even just once a week?

Whatever the root, the proverbial American apple has certainly fallen pretty far from the tree. Only now, other countries are starting to sip the Kool-Aid. Back in France, the results of the regulation haven’t been nearly as favorable as anticipated and, as a result, government officials have been working to establish loopholes within the system in an attempt to dismantle it. The principle reason? Officials believe France can’t be competitive on an international level as long as people work less.

But what is a competitive economy if, along the way, we throw away aspects of life that are more indicative of real success and happiness — time invested into sincere conversations with friends or devoted to the preparation of good food or even to something as seemingly trivial as watching your favorite sports team. The age-old saying goes that “You can sleep when you’re dead.” No, thank you — I run better on eight hours a night.