Thursday, October 28, 2010

Syfy Greenlights BSG Prequel: 'Blood & Chrome'

Battlestar Galactica ended in March, 2009, and the prequel-spin-off Caprica has never had BSG‘s cultural prominence. (Or its ratings.)

Now, it looks like Syfy is hitting the reset button on the Prequel Option: This time, more space violence! According to a press release from Syfy, the network has just greenlit a new two-hour pilot for Battlestar Galactica: Blood & Chrome, set ten years into the first Cylon war (which would place it about four decades before BSG).

The pilot centers on a young William Adama, played by Edward James Olmos in BSG and an adorably annoying child actor in Caprica. Coming on the heels of the Syfy Channels cancelation of Caprica, I’m pessimistic about any young actor trying to inhabit the Adama character. (Wouldn’t it have been better to focus on someone else?)

Blood & Chrome sounds like a purposeful step back into the political tension and breakneck Viper battles of BSG, which is exciting.

Caprica is TOAST!

Caprica is toast. Syfy has announced that the low-rated Battlestar Galactica prequel has been canceled.

“The remaining first run episodes of Caprica – airing Tuesdays at 10/9c – will be removed from the schedule as of next Tuesday, November 2,” said the network in a statement. “These final five episodes of the season will be re-scheduled to air at a to be announced time in the first quarter of 2011, and will conclude the run of the series.”

“We appreciate all the support that fans have shown for Caprica and are very proud of the producers, cast, writers and the rest of the amazing team that has been committed to this fine series,” said Mark Stern, EVP of original programming at Syfy.

“Unfortunately, despite its obvious quality, Caprica has not been able to build the audience necessary to justify a second season.”
The news comes less than a week after Syfy unveiled plans for another Galactica prequel, this one set 10 years into the first Cylon war.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

China has a fast train so why don't we?

Below is a report out of the AP yesterday about China rolling out it's fastest train yet. And it got me to thinking. If all of these politicians in Washington would just wake up and get on the same page and forget their private agendas that maybe we too could be innovators as we once were. The US was the first to step on the Moon and yet our current President Obama has slashed NASA funding for space missions. And this week what was reported about the moon? Well it has PLENTY of water on it enough to support a future manned moonbase. But at this rate I wonder if it will be China or India who build it while we slip into non relevance.

All one has to do is look at our crumbling infrastructures here in the US as compared to countries in Europe and Asia and alarm bells should have gone off years ago yet politicians, unions, and the like have done nothing but take take take and give nothing back in return. We have the oldest subway system in NYC, an electrical grid that dates back to the 30's, and we've failed to lead the way in technologies such as clean fuels, solar and wind power. So I ask, China has a fast train so why don't we? Because like the Romans we've become just to comfy in our temples and palaces looking down on the rest of the world. Well, NEWSFLASH, the rest of the world is moving along just fine and will think nothing of us or our bark when we fall in place much like the Russia has.

Fast train, big dam show China's engineering might -

China rolled out its fastest train yet on Tuesday and announced that the Three Gorges Dam, the world's biggest hydroelectric project, is now generating electricity at maximum capacity — engineering triumphs that signal the nation's growing ambitions as its economy booms.

The successes demonstrate how, after decades of acquiring technology from the west, Beijing has begun to push the limits of its new capabilities, setting the bar higher on mega-projects as it seeks to promote the image of a powerful, modern China. But many of these initiatives have come at great human and environmental cost, and some have questioned whether the country fosters a sufficiently innovative spirit to compete on the next level.

Still in the works: more nuclear power plants, a gargantuan project to pump river water from the fertile south to the arid north, and a $32.5 billion, 820-mile (1,300-kilometer) Beijing-to-Shanghai high-speed railway that is scheduled to open in 2012.
"We are now much faster," Railway Ministry spokesman Wang Yongping said at Tuesday's inauguration of the super-fast line from Shanghai's western suburb of Hongqiao to the resort city of Hangzhou. "Now other countries are hoping to cooperate with us."
The train will cruise at a top speed of 220 mph (350 kph), making the 125-mile (200-kilometer) trip in 45 minutes.
China already has the world's longest high-speed rail network and aims to more than double its length to 10,000 miles (16,000 kilometers) by 2020.

Chinese companies are also vying for projects overseas, including in the U.S., which leads the world in freight railway technology but has almost no high-speed rail expertise. That's a mark of how well and quickly the technology has been adopted by Chinese companies, who have traditionally only been able to compete on price in bidding for railway and other basic infrastructure projects in the developing world.

The Three Gorges Dam has been more controversial, though the government has relentlessly touted the $23 billion project as the best way to end centuries of floods along the mighty Yangtze and provide energy to fuel the country's economic boom.
The water level in the vast reservoir behind it hit its peak height of 574 feet (175 meters) at 9 a.m. on Tuesday, according to project operator, the China Three Gorges Project Corp. The previous record was 567 feet (172.8 meters), set in 2008, the year the generators began operating.

In the future, the water level will be adjusted depending on flood-control needs but kept within 100 feet (30 meters) of the maximum.

While raising the water level increases the electricity production of the dam, some geologists have warned that damming up too much water in the reservoir carries a heightened risk of landslides, earthquakes and prolonged damage to the river's ecology. As officials attempted to raise water levels in the reservoir last fall, at least one town had to evacuate dozens of residents after a hairline crack appeared on the slopes above homes.

In addition, millions have been displaced and great swaths of productive farmland sacrificed for dam and projects like it.

Company chairman Cao Guangjing called Tuesday's feat a "historical milestone." He said annual power generation will reach 84.7 billion kilowatt hours, enabling "the project to fulfill its functions of flood control, power generation, navigation and water diversion to the full."

Average economic growth rates of more than 9 percent per year over the past two decades have laid the foundation for rapid progress in a growing number of fields, including launching three manned space flights since 2003 and building a railway across the Tibetan plateau from Beijing to Lhasa. The 2008 Beijing Olympics and this year's mammoth Shanghai World Expo have demonstrated a growing managerial sophistication as well as ability to build infrastructure on an enormous scale.
But while the tremendous growth has enabled China to build big, some wonder if it can build smart — and become a source of true innovation.

Science and technology research in the country tends to be heavily topdown, laden with a stifling government bureaucracy. Many of China's best scholars and scientists depart for greener pastures abroad, while other top minds are pushed into administrative roles, leaving them little time for research.

Although China holds the patents on the technology, design and equipment used by the CRH380 train, some in the industry question the degree to which China is justified in claiming the latest technology as its own.

"Everybody knows that a lot of the core technology is European," Michael Clausecker, director general of Unife, the Association of the European Rail Industry, said in a recent interview.

And despite the obvious benefits high-speed railways bring, the replacement of slower lines with more expensive high-speed trains has prompted complaints from passengers reluctant to pay higher fares, especially on shorter routes.

Crafting a good resume to get the job

A tough job market means piles of applications for open positions, so it is no surprise that hiring managers are looking for ways to screen candidates quickly.

"Recruiters typically devote only 10-15 seconds to read any resume," says Wil Lemire, director of career services at Western New England College in Springfield, Mass. To make that precious time count, job seekers need to create concise, attention-grabbing profiles that make employers want to know more.

Things to include

"Some people refer to the professional summary as the resume equivalent of a 30-second sales pitch or an elevator speech," says Carolyn Yencharis Corcoran, assistant director of the Insalaco Center for Career Development at Misericordia University in Dallas, Pa. "We recommend that our students take great care in writing this area, as it is yet another way for them to demonstrate their ability to communicate pointedly and efficiently and to exude professionalism by using industry-specific keywords in the proper context."

Experts generally favor the profile being placed right under contact information at the top of a resume. (This well-crafted skills summary also can prove useful as a networking intro or as part of an online profile.) Among the items candidates may wish to include are:

- Keywords that match those of the job description
- Hard skills (professional and technical experience)
- Soft skills (personal attributes)
- Advanced degrees
- Years of experience
- Interesting achievements
- Anything that sets one apart from other candidates

"Like any other section of your resume, the professional summary requires some self-reflection, time and attention," Corcoran says. To get the creative juices flowing, she suggests:

- Asking co-workers, family members, professors and friends what qualities they like most about you.
- Thinking about positive comments you've received from employers or teachers.
- Reflecting on awards received.
- Remembering instances where you handled an emergency, presented or taught something, made something more efficient
or contributed to a change.

Things to avoid

Cynthia Favre, director of career management at Gustavus Adolphus College in Saint Peter, Minn., offers this precaution when creating a summary: "Don't include things that most everyone can do (such as use the Internet or Word). It actually makes the candidate look like he doesn't have useful skills."

Favre also cautions against using vague adjectives, such as "excellent" and "great." "Such words encourage the reader to compare the candidate with others. Take the phrase 'an excellent communicator.' Compared to whom? Barack Obama? Your college roommate? It is better to state the skills as factually as possible and let the reader determine if they are excellent and of value to him."

Putting your best self forward

While seasoned workers can use their skills summary to describe past job accomplishments, novice job seekers often worry that they will appear lacking. While it is inevitable that different candidates will bring different attributes to the table, the main thing is to focus on what you can contribute.

"It's important that the job seeker know what the job requirements are in order to properly sort and rank his own knowledge, skills and abilities," Lemire says. "Recent graduates should use skills and knowledge gained from part-time jobs and summer jobs, internships, classroom projects and activities on and off campus."

Corcoran agrees that it is up to each individual to identify and present her own strengths. "While a seasoned worker will have more hands-on experience to include in a professional summary, new grads will want to highlight the things that set them apart -- such as possessing skills in the newest and latest technology, energy and drive, openness to multiple areas and an eagerness to learn."

Remember that whether this is your first job or your tenth, you only have a bit of space to get yourself noticed. Choose your words carefully, and chances are an employer will want to hear more.

South Park's - Inception explanation

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Bert & Ernie Gay?

It was the tweet heard round "Sesame Street."

"Ever notice how similar my hair is to Mr. T's?" lovable sweater-clad Bert wrote on the official "Sesame Street" Twitter account in June. "The only difference is mine is a little more 'mo,' a little less 'hawk.'"

Taking the "mo" to mean "homosexual," the tweet had gay bloggers, activists, and parents buzzing that the show was letting them in on a big secret with an under-the-radar wink.

The Los Angeles Times took the post as the latest evidence in a history of clues the show has dropped over the years that Bert and Ernie are more than just friends, reviving the (nearly) age-old question: are Bert and Ernie gay?

The puppet duo have been best friends and roommates since the show began over 40 years ago, but curious fans have long wondered if there is more to their close relationship.

"Bert and Ernie conduct themselves in the same loving, discreet way that millions of gay men, women and hand puppets do," Kurt Anderson wrote in his 1980 book "The Real Thing." "They do their jobs well and live a splendidly settled life together in an impeccably decorated cabinet."

As proof, the Times cites "Sesame Street"'s history of inviting openly gay celebrity guests to the show, such as lesbian comedian Wanda Sykes who appeared this season and Neil Patrick Harris who once came on the show as "the shoe fairy."

If that's not enough to convince you, the Times adds "Sesame"'s spoof of HBO's racy series "True Blood," which stars gay characters and has a gay fan base, as evidence of another effort to appeal to gay viewers.

"Now some people are wondering: Is 'Sesame Street' brought to you by the letters G-A-Y?" the Times asks.

Of course, this isn't the first time people have wondered about what's really going on behind Bert and Ernie's closed doors.

In 2002, Sesame Workshop threatened to sue an LA filmmaker whose film "Ernest and Bertram" portrayed the puppets in a volatile gay relationship, ending in Ernie's suicide.

The are-they-or-aren't-they question has even made it to rumor-buster website, which has a page dedicated to the issue.

"Claim: 'Sesame Street' muppets Bert and Ernie are live-in lovers, and they're about to get married," the site states, with the answer: "Status: False."

Though the show intentionally appeals to a wide variety of audiences, the creators have steered clear of putting Bert and Ernie on top of any floats in the gay pride parade.

"Bert and Ernie, who've been on 'Sesame Street' for 25 years, do not portray a gay couple, and there are no plans for them to do so in the future. They are puppets, not humans. Like all the Muppets created for 'Sesame Street,' they were designed to help educate preschoolers. Bert and Ernie are characters who help demonstrate to children that despite their differences, they can be good friends," Sesame Workshop said in a statement in 1993.

Sesame Workshop President and CEO Gary Knell put it more simply.

"They are not gay, they are not straight, they are puppets," he said in 2007. "They don't exist below the waist."

Monday, October 25, 2010

Desperate Housewives a Halloween Episode

In the forthcoming Halloween episode of DH, we’ll see that Susan’s forced to reveal her big secret – that she has a naughty internet job – to Mike, who’s going to be very shocked.

However, Susan dressing up as Baby Jane may add a sinister edge to her confession…

Also, Lynette chooses to dress up as a 1920s flapper, but despite her joining in the Halloween mood, she’s really worried about Tom’s memory lapses.

Bree gets decked out as a cheerleader, and in this episode, she’ll learn a secret about Keith.

Paul’s grasping at romantic straws and hoping his taking Beth out will reignite the missing spark in their marriage, and Juanita gets suspicious about Gaby’s sudden interest in Grace…

Also, Rene isn’t too pleased when Lee turns up wearing the exact same Marilyn Munroe outfit.

Excited and Scared airs on Halloween night, October 31st, and here’s the sneak peek. Enjoy!

Vampire Diaries upcoming ‘Masquerade’ Episode

In the upcoming Vampire Diaries episode ‘Masquerade’, viewers will see Damon and Stefan devising a new plan to get rid of Katherine at Lockwood’s masquerade ball…

We’ll see Jeremy, Alaric and Bonnie all getting together to assist Stefan and Damon in taking Katherine out, but Katherine has a plans of her own and she invites her old buddy Lucy (Natashia Williams), to attend the ball…

She and Katherine apparently have “a surprise” that nobody could’ve foreseen.

And according to BSC Review, “Things go from bad to worse when Matt and Tyler start doing shots with their friends.”

The episode will air on Thursday October 28th on The CW.

Here’s the clip!

Desperate Housewives “Let Me Entertain You” - Blow By Blow Breakdown

Desperate Housewives took a break from the heavy laden “baby swap” story line by focusing on establishing Vanessa Williams’s Renee Perry and dropping a grenade on the Paul Young mystery. That guy needs to be tranquilized and locked in an asylum somewhere.

Wisteria Lane Divas Smackdown 2010: Second Match – Gaby vs. Renee

I died when Renee punched the hell out of Gaby in the nightclub. I couldn’t wait to see how the two ladies got there and when I found out, I was feeling kind of… blah. Yeah, we finally got to meet Renee’s husband Doug, but other than that introduction, the only funny/interesting thing about the whole incident was the actual fight itself. Although, we did learn how far Renee will go to get whatever she wants by sleeping with her husband’s lawyer. Low blow there, in my opinion. Plus, I wonder if this is the last we have seen of Doug Perry. I am glad that the ladies did bury the hatchet, and managed to let bygones be bygones. Maybe Bravo’s Real Housewives should take a lesson from the ladies of Wisteria Lane.

Paul Makes His Move And Corners Susan’s Next Move Back To Wisteria Lane

Now, this was where the action was and I apologize for every piece of whining I have done about Susan’s story line this year. We could’ve guessed the outcome when Paul received Mike’s rejection on buying Susan’s house via Lee. The red herring of Susan being fired kind of gave away the surprise ending, especially when Maxine rehired her for a job that paid top dollar. Even with all those heavy clues being dropped, the reveal was still satisfying and I jumped with Susan when Paul appeared on her laptop screen. Now, Paul has Susan right where he wants her, but what in God’s name could he want with Susan’s house? Did he leave something there? Or is he really just really going after Susan’s happiness?

B.A.G. Is A Sex Machine!

Seeing Bree walking after Keith got a hold of her was hilarious. Obviously, neither Orson nor Rex were doing their jobs in the bedroom. Karl, maybe, but I doubt it was all in one day. Are we going to see a more relaxed and refreshed Bree from now on?

Mrs. Scavo vs. Mrs. Scavo

I’m not going to lie. This storyline had me riding the fence all night until the end. While I don’t see a problem with a woman wanting to take care of her family, there is respect to be had. The Scavo men, especially Tom and the twins, were being complete jackasses. Point blank. With that being said, Lynette crossed the line by letting slip about Mrs. Scavo’s marriage. To me, that’s the only thing that I saw Lynette do wrong. Anything else is entirely not her fault in my opinion. Tom could be trying to save money by hiring his mother, but he has to learn to respect her as well. When his parents come around he acts like a big kid, which is why I got where Lynette was coming from tonight. I wouldn’t want my sons treating my mother like that either. It’s that simple.

Now with Mrs. Scavo having Alzheimer’s Disease, I wonder how this will affect the dynamic in the household? I wonder if it is just kicking in or if it’s been something she’s been hiding from Tom? Time will tell…

What were your thoughts on tonight’s episode?

Desperate Housewives Review - “Let Me Entertain You”

It seems this season has been dragging along with not much to speak of in terms of an interesting storyline.

The good news, though, is that Susan actually had some acting to do this week instead of just flaunting her jugs for VaVaVaBroom. I was almost touched when Lynette covered for Susan’s money issues, claiming it was lent to her to cover some of their birthing bills that insurance did not cover. Yeah, believable. I would definitely ask my closest friends for $9,000 to cover the birth of the fifth child that I can’t afford.

In other (not entirely interesting) news, we are pleased to see that Renee will be sticking around this season after kicking her desperate ex-hubby back to Manhattan. With her new alliance with Gaby, these two will surely get into some diva drama. After that bar brawl, we can’t wait to see it.

Interesting, though, that after Gaby’s obsession with doting on her biological daughter, we saw no mention of her this week – or the child swap for that matter. Gaby went from concerned bio-mom, to a kid-free champagne drinking drama queen with her nose “out of joint” over Renee’s antics this episode. I guess Gaby won’t be getting the Mom of the Year award from either of her kiddos this year.

Speaking of mom of the year... when might things let up for Lynette? This lady just can’t get a break.

As if a worthless husband and five ungrateful kids weren’t enough, she now has her mother-in-law living with them. The Schaivos time warped back to the 1950’s, where cookies are made fresh daily, and drinks are poured anytime you hold your glass up. On top of that, kooky Grandma is showing signs of Alzheimer’s. It looks like this house helper may just become another of Tom and Lynette’s dependents.

Elsewhere, Paul Young is scheming away to take down the neighborhood. Bbut am I the only one not interested? Honestly, I could care less about this guy. The whole murdered on Wisteria Lane thing is a tad overdone. Let’s remember, the show is called Desperate Housewives, not Desperate Ex-con Jailbird. No one watches the show because of this villain’s plans to take down the Lane, do they?

So back to the only semi-interesting thing that happened: Bree getting sexed up. Pretty clever that she came up with a way to tire out her man slave in a different manner, via a long list of chores. Turns out Keith feels a bit dumb compared to his classy lady, so sex is the only way he thought he could keep her interested. Awww, almost want to cry for you, Brian Austin Green. But after your heart to heart about how you like each other just the way you are, we’re confident you’ll be just fine, Breith.

Desperate Housewives Season 7 Ep5 Preview clip - “Let Me Entertain You”

Susan’s days as a sexy internet sensation may be coming to an end after she angers an important client and incurs the wrath of her boss, Maxine; Renee and Gabrielle are headed for a smackdown after each of them reveals an intimate secret about the other to the wrong people; Bree finds herself exhausted by younger lover Keith’s sexual stamina; Lynette is angry with Tom after he asks his mother to become the baby’s nanny without talking it over with her first; and housewife Emma Graham (singer-songwriter Dana Glover) puts on a cabaret show — with the aid of saxophonist Dave Koz — with surprising results, on “Desperate Housewives,”

Starz to debut Torchwood - US Version

When Torchwood makes its Starz debut this coming summer, there would be a couple of new characters on board? Well, now I can tell you not only who they are but also who’s likely to play them (hint: you know and like all three).

• Rex Matheson is a sharp-as-nails, funny-as-hell, tough-as-rawhide CIA agent who cares less about making a good impression than he does making a lasting one. Sounds juicy, right? So no wonder my sources tell me that both Dollhouse alum Enver Gjokaj and One Tree Hill grad Chad Michael Murray are eyeing the role.

• Esther Katusi is a CIA Watch Analyst — in other words, a grunt — who, against all odds, has both an unshakable faith in human nature and a monster crush on Rex. Greek goddess Amber Stevens is said to be the frontrunner for this part.
So what do you think about the names being bandied? You got someone(s) better in mind? Lemme hear it below.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Decoding MTV's Jersey Shore - Part Deux

Ok if you are like me you've probably have gotten somewhat addicted to the crazy that is The Jersey Shore. If you are watching and you just find yourself asking "WTF?!" whenever someone speaks, perhaps this guide to decoding The Jersey Shore can help you out.

b.e.d. (n.)—a nightclub in Miami, Florida, which stands for "beverage.entertainment.dining" (see also, Klutch, Space)

The cast of Jersey Shore loves few things more than a three-letter acronym (i.e. "GTL, baby!"). It's no wonder then, that during one of their first nights in the MIA (not the rapper or the airport, but rather, the city of Miami, where season two took place), Snooki, JWoww, Sammi, The Situation, Pauly D, Vinny, Angelina, and Ronnie made their way to this hot spot. But what happens at b.e.d., doesn't necessarily remain under the covers—as Sammi soon discovered thanks to a not-so-anonymous, but incredibly infamous note.

Example: "The first night at b.e.d., when you left, Ron made out with 2 girls and put his head in between a cocktail waitresses breasts." —The Note

big sense of humor (n.)—a large quantity of the ability to laugh and/or to make another laugh. Also, an important quality in a juice head and/or gorilla. (see also, frolic)


While bored at her place of work, Lecca Lecca Gelato Caffe, Snooki decided to come up with a checklist of her "idea" (as JWoww says) characteristics in a man. Of the approximately 20 qualities—which ran the gamut from the physical ("tan") to the culinary ("likes pickles")—one of her most meaningful was "big sense of humor."

butterface flavor (n.)—a nonexistent variety of gelato to describe a girl who frequents the ice cream parlor and manages to maintain her figure, "but her face" does not exactly induce the "yum" factor

Working at Lecca Lecca has its perks for Pauly D and Vinny, who use their position to pick up girls (hopefully those who are DTF). But not all of the ladies have the full package of both beautiful faces and bodies.

Example: "Do we have a butterface flavor or what?" Vinny quips.

cabs are here (exc.)—the exclamatory phrase used to declare the arrival of one's already paid for designated driver, who will likely provide transportation to b.e.d., Klutch, and on special occasions, Space

Because this cast of seven (formerly eight) would never sacrifice one of their own as a designated driver for the evening, each night, they phone a taxi company to shuttle them back and forth to their nightclub of choice. While this has caused many a hilarious moment with The Situation spelling out his name to the dispatcher, upon the cabs' arrival, Pauly D typically shouts forcefully, "Cabs are here!" and the phrase has even spawned some MTV apparel.

checkers (n.)—a board game played between two players, each using 12 pieces of opposing colors, which is not a typical late night/early morning activity nor a euphemism for sexual relations (a.k.a. smushing)

When The Situation discovers his conquest from a club one night is not going to get down and dirty, he is disappointed about his lack of play.

Example: The Situation: "Don't come over somebody's house at f-----' 5 a.m. expect to play checkers." Thwarted Conquest: "I never said anything about checkers, old man!"

chicken cutlet (n.)—a silicone insert placed into one's bra to create the illusion of larger breasts. The name derives from the device's appearance, which is similar to a raw piece of boneless chicken.

While the first season of Jersey Shore introduced us to the concept of "chicken cutlet night"— which one is excluded from after refusing to clean up a feast of Italian delicacies—Season 2 followed up with a new kind of cutlet. After bringing home some grenades and landmines from the club, the boys bring their ladies into the likely STD-infested hot tub, where a foreign object is discovered. One of the girls' bra inserts pops out and Vinny, The Situation, and Pauly D decide the best use for the "chicken cutlet" would be to play catch with it.

Example: "I've never seen that before, you know? It looks like a chicken cutlet. Yo! Put that on the grill."—Pauly D shouts as he gives it a toss to The Situation

Cockblock of the Century (n.)—one who is legendary for preventing his or her male roommates from succeeding over his sexual conquests (see also, Staten Island Dump, The Instigation)

Angelina, the self-proclaimed Kim Kardashian of Staten Island, is known not just for packing her belongings in garbage bags during the show's first season, but also for "cockblocking" The Situation and Pauly D when they are "creepin'" on girls while the housemates are all out at a club. Her reputation does not dissipate in the show's second season when the powers of the Miami heat and alcoholic beverages combine.

Example: "Just a little bit of alcohol, and throughout the night it's worse and worse and worse, until, voilĂ … Mrs. Cockblock of the Century comes out and that's who she truly is." —The Situation explains of Angelina

community smush room (n.)—a chamber specifically reserved for the act of "smushing;" full-size bed included. For sanitary reasons, this area is best cleaned after a 20-smush turnover, while wearing see-through garbage bags secured with duct tape.

Example: "The f---ing smush room is nasty. The boys f--- in there… like different girls at the same time. It's disgusting."—Snooki

cookie (n.)—a synonym for a girl

Example: "He needs to give up his cookie [Sam] so he can find another one. I'm eating chocolate chip cookies every night, dawg." —The Situation on Ronnie's situation with his roommate-turned-girlfriend Sammi

do you (v.)—to take care of one's own business and not integrate his or herself into the business of others

In the midst of yet another fight between Sammi and Ronnie, the idea of "doing" themselves seems to come up a lot—and no, it doesn't mean what you think.

Example: "Do you, bro." —Sammi to Ronnie

done (adj.)—the state of a relationship when one or both parties verbally claims to cease attempts to work out any outstanding issues between the partners

Simple as this term may seem, in the case of Sammi and Ronnie, "done" never means "done." The only thing Sammi says more than "Ron, stop" is "I'm done." Yet, as we head into the finale of Season 2, the two are still together. Is it time to stick a fork in her yet?

Example: "No, we're like done."—Sammi

double bagger (n.)—not to be confused with the ineffective approach of wearing two condoms, this refers to an unattractive partner who is so unappealing, one must put a bag over both the partner's head as well as his or her own.

The term has nothing to do with any sort of asphyxiation fetish, but rather one's desire to ensure he or she is only looking at his or her sexual partner's body during a smush fest, as opposed to his or her face.

Example: "Sometimes you gotta put a bag over your head, in case her bag falls off"—Ronnie's friend

DTF (adj.)—ready, willing, and able to have sex. Literally, "down to f---." (see also, DTS)

Example: The Situation: "So, we have two girls on the burner. We can get the original chicks, which are DTF, or we can get the blond ones." Pauly D: "Ask them if they're DTF though. Don't waste no time today. It's Saturday."

DTS (adj.)—ready, willing, and able to cuddle. Literally, "down to snuggle." Not to be confused with "down the Shore." (see also, DTF)

Example: "This year I'm a little more DTS… down to snuggle with Snooki. If she wants to come in my bed and throw it at me, then I'm gonna take it."—Vinny

earrings (n. pl.)—an ornamental item of jewelry for one's ear lobes that must be removed before a physical altercation with a roommate, typically one who identifies herself as the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island (see also, nails)

Like Lady Gaga and Ke$ha before her, Snooki may not be a fan of pants, but she is never one to skimp on accessories. But after the conflict with Angelina reached its peak in Season 2, the tiniest Jersey Shore cast mate could no longer keep her nail wraps to herself. The hair pulling and pouf ruining that proceeded after Snooki removed her giant hoop earrings was one of the biggest girl-on-girl brawls in MTV's history.

Example: "Okay. Hold my earrings, please."—Snooki before lunging at Angelina

Fossil watch (n.)—since it was founded in 1984, before the world was blessed with Angelina's presence, Fossil, Inc. has primarily produced timepieces, enabling people not only to tell time, but to also give gifts in an anticipated exchange for sexual favors

Angelina had her eye on many men and some women this season, but none were quite as persistent as Jose. She teased him along without doing much smushing, but one gift nearly forced her to get down to business. He showed up to Lecca Lecca wearing a suit and holding a coveted white Fossil watch from Macy's. "He definitely earned points. One, because he looks so hot right now, and two, because he brought me a present," she said. "It was really thoughtful of him." Though not thoughtful enough—he did spend the night, but Angelina still kept her pants on.

Example: "He bought her a Fossil watch. I don't know how much it was…$39.99, $49.99—but the man should be smushed."—The Situation on Jose's gift to Angelina

frolic (v.)— to perform a style of dance, popular amongst the Tri-State area guido set, best exhibited when accompanied by house music, in which the artiste moves his or her feet in wide strides from side to side. Warning: Should exercise caution when combined with the fist pump. (see also, big sense of humor)

In addition to love of laughter and pickles, "frolics" is another characteristic required on Snooki's checklist for finding the ultimate juicehead.

Example: See Snooki, JWoww, and Snooki's friend Ryder exhibit the iconic guido frolic in a recent episode of Season 2 at the 33 minute mark.

FTD (adj.)—the acronym for "fresh to death"

As previously explained, "fresh to death" is Pauly D's reference to his style of being and having the hottest of the hot and trendiest of the trendy. This typically translates to a blowout and an Ed Hardy t-shirt.

Example: "You need to be on your tip-top game with your GTL to stay FTD to get the girls to be DTF in MIA."—The Situation

get it in (v.)—to smush a partner who is not ideal for a relationship, but is DTF

One may anatomically assume that this term is used only by the men of Jersey Shore cast. Think again. From The Situation to Snooki to Pauly D, "getting it in" is a phrase that does not discriminate by gender.

Example: "I was nice enough to bring two. At least entertain the chick or something so I can get it in."—Pauly D on The Situation sending home his non-DTF conquest.

GFF (n.)—the Grenade Free Foundation is an organization established to keep grenades (i.e. unattractive women) at bay in order to reach its ultimate goal of a GFA (Grenade Free America)

The cause has caught fire amongst many, with the Facebook group for "GFA—Grenade Free America" counting more than 1,600 members amongst its beautiful community.

Example: "We are the most valuable players in MIA, supporting the GFF!"—Vinny

grenade grundle chode (n.)—the least attractive male in a group of friends

After her roll in the sheets keeps JWoww up at night, the Smuf-sized Snooki promises her friend she'll find her some eye candy who is over six feet. When the object of Snooki's desire, Dennis, arrives with his friend, Marco, however, the height requirement is the only thing he has working for him. JWoww isn't pleased and even Snooki must admit that Marco is no gorilla—in the bad way.

Example: "Marco is a grenade grundle chode."—Snooki

GTF (v.)—gym, tan, find out who wrote the note (see also, GTS)

JWoww and Snooki planted a notorious anonymous note into Sammi's drawer explaining what Ronnie had been doing with other girls behind her back. Sam, however, does not appreciate the gesture and is determined to figure out who was behind the typed out letter. The boys in the house are curious of its origins as well—so much so, in fact, they decide to alter their usual GTL (gym, tan, laundry) routine.

Example: "Gym, Tan, Find out who wrote the note."—Vinny

GTS (v.)—gym, tan, smush (see also, GTF)

Unfortunately, that "s" does not stand for shower. The act of going to the gym and tanning are both the most important and versatile of one's daily agenda because every other activity can accompany them, as long as it follows directly after. Sammi sarcastically suggests Ronnie leave the laundry off his checklist during the series' second season premiere and that he find a new girl to smush instead.

Example: "Gym Tan Smush, huh?"—Sammi

herpe (n.)—a single cold sore that can tarnish a good time with its presence

In June, Jersey Shore creator Sally Ann Salano made the cast of her hit show out to be a walking Valtrex ad. "We hand it out like M&Ms," she said of the herpes medication. "It's like a herpes nest. They're all mixing it up." Seemingly, some of the cast members learned how to spot the STD, which appears to be quite the downer.

Example: "Nothing like a nice herpe to ruin the party."—Pauly D of a female beachgoer attempting to strike up conversation

hyena (n.)—a sexually aggressive young woman who lacks facial beauty

When one evening of creeping turned the hot tub into a zoo, The Situation was lucky enough to splash some likely contaminated water on his face and realize he was swimming with some animals. Unfortunately for Pauly D, the beer goggles did not come off.

Example: "One of the hyenas hypnotized him and he didn't see up close what was going on."—The Situation on Pauly D

if you have to think about it… (phrase)—the notion that if one believes an apparent women is transsexual or transgendered, she probably is

Example: "She's got all the clues that lead me to believe she's a man. She's got something to hide that Adam's apple, she has something on her hands… If you have to think about it… If you even have to hesitate to think… It's a tranny."—Pauly D

IFF (n.)—I'm F---ed Foundation (see also, note)

The charitable Jersey Shore cast was eager to create as many foundations as possible this season. The IFF, however, is not exactly an organization to be proud of. The male housemates created the group in honor (shame?) of Ronnie's inevitable downfall after fooling around behind Sam's back. The IFF quickly disintegrated thanks to modern technology when Snooki and JWoww wrote an anonymous note to Sammi explaining who Ronnie f---ed and subsequently, f---ed him over.

Example: "Ronnie's new nickname now is IFF. IFF is the I'm F---ed Foundation. He's a client and the president."—Pauly D

The Instigation (n.)—a spin-off of The Situation, references one who sets problems into motion (see also, Cockblock of the Century, Staten Island Dump)

After Angelina both hits on and hits one of her fellow housemates, the roommates have seemingly had enough of her "drama" and decide that the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island is not a fitting nickname.

Example: "They should call you The Instigation."—Pauly D to Angelina

Klutch (n.)—a nightclub in Miami, Florida that is typically grenade free (see also, b.e.d., Space)

It may not be Karma from Seaside Heights, but the Jersey Shore cast found their second home in this Miami club that they frequented in search of SoCo, fresh beats, and potential hook-ups.

Example: "When you left crying at Klutch, Ron was holding hands and dancing with a female and took down her number."—The Note

kookah (n.)—a euphemism for female genitalia

What the ladies of The Real Housewives of New Jersey call a "chucky," the Jersey Shore roommates refer to as a kookah. The Snooki-coined colloquialism for a female's nether regions was introduced after Pauly D attempted to wake up the smallest cast member in time for her manicure appointment and accidentally (or so he claims) exposed her kookah. Later, she and JWoww lamented over intimate injuries.

Example: "I ran into a house. I was like, 'Boom.' I was like, 'My kookah!' I thought I broke my vagina bone. It's terrible."—Snooki

lesbian rate (n.)- the tendency of women to date other women due to a lack of quality men

After Snooki's boyfriend Emilio calls to tell her he's slept with another woman, she begins to philosophize about whyLindsay Lohan (and now reportedly Christina Aguilera) found themselves with Samantha Ronson.

Example: "Guys are douchebags and I hate them all. They don't know how to deal with women, and I feel that's why the lesbian rate is going up in this country."—Snooki

loosey goose (n.)—a woman who has let many people get it in (see also, get it in, DTF)

One woman's trash is another's treasure—particularly when it comes to a well-endowed roommate like Vinny. Snooki's hook-up with him may have been a bit mismatched, but Angelina had no problem handling Vinny, which her predecessor hypothesizes is due to extensive previous experience.

Example: "You had my sloppy seconds. Good for you. And obviously you're loosey goosey because he got it in."—Snooki to Angelina

MVP (n.)—another organization which stands not only for Most Valuable Players, but Mike (The Situation), Vinny, and Pauly

The three amigos pride themselves on this amazing acronym discovery, which fully allows them to relish in their bro-ness.

Example: "This is MVP night, Mike, Vinny, Pauly—not to be confused with Nissan, Honda, Chevy—straight up. I'm not playin' around. No bulls---. We're like the wife beater gang."—Pauly

nails (n.)—the cosmetic process in which one's fingernails are professionally treated; also, an excuse to stay home from your job (see also, earrings)

Keeping up with one's nails is a high priority for a guidette and keeping up the thick, square French manicured tips (even in an unknown city like Miami) is of the utmost importance. A physical brawl between JWoww and Sammi leads to some serious damage and Pauly D notes the wreckage. "There's hair extensions, there's fingernails," he observes. And the latter does not sit well with JWoww, who knows what she must do to write these wrongs.

Example: "I will not be attending work today because I have to get my nails done."—JWoww to her boss at Lecca Lecca

note (n.)—an explicit, typed letter anonymously delivered to your friend to inform him or her of his or her significant other's infidelity

The guilt of knowing what Ron has been doing behind Sammi's back was eating away at her best friends, Snooki and JWoww. But because they don't want to cause any friction amongst the roommates, they decide the best way to inform her would be to type up a note (Kanye West-style in all caps) at an Internet café. They "wisely" change the word "tits" to "breasts" so as not to give themselves away and decide against a pink font as well. After they're done, they fold up the letter and slip it into her drawer, awaiting the chaos that ensues.

Example: "I found this note. This note pretty much told me that Ron gets with fat chicks, hooks up with girls, holds hands with girls, got a girl's number."—Sammi

Nutella (n.)—a hazelnut spread best eaten while your roommate smushes a Canadian because it is made in Canada

When The Situation brings home a Canadian who is more than DTF, the cast mates gather outside the community smush room with snacks for their listening party, including some of this delicious spreadable delicacy. "Yo! Canadian! Did you know that you make Nutella?" Vinny shouts as The Situation's partner moans.

Example: "Yo, let's get into this Nutella, pimp."- Vinny

original guido (OG) (n.)—an Italian American middle-aged man who uses his English-as-a-second-language quality to charm his way into a hot tub with younger guidettes

Vinny's Uncle Nino is the type of guido they don't make anymore. He may not have the best linguistic skills, but he expresses himself with his stereotypically unbuttoned shirt, hairless chest, and shiny gold cross. When he comes to visit Vinny in Miami, Uncle Nino is immediately taken by the Jersey Shore friends his nephew has made, whom he affectionately refers to as "Pauly Spike," "Mike Sanitation," and "my J. Lo."

Example: "Uncle Nino is an OG, an original guido."—Pauly D

pajamas (n. pl.)—nighttime attire that one slips into after a night out at the club, indicating that one is ready for some smushing

The Situation has an infatuation with picking out attire for his sexual conquests to sleep in, despite the fact that he has full intentions of taking those clothes off her. In one instance, he even had his smushing associate choose her PJ's before they went out—a notion that excited him to no end.

Example: "I always have a good time when I go out to the clubs…but in the back of my mind I'm thinking,' 'I got a girl here, I got pajamas picked out already…this girl wants to bang me! I wanna go back to the crib.'"—The Situation

red joints (n. pl.)—a pair of new crimson colored sneakers—purchased to maintain fresh-to-deathness—which typically indicate a positive evening ahead (see also, t-shirt time)

Example: "I might do it! I might do it! I bust out the red joints! That's how you know it's gonna be a good night."—Pauly D

Ron watch (n.)—the role and responsibility of monitoring Ronnie, who, while drunk, seems to lose control

Example: "Who's on Ron watch tonight?"—Pauly D

sangwich (n.)—another pronunciation of sandwich, typically used by Pauly D, which refers to two pieces of bread and the filling of one's choice; in some situations, it can serve as an indication of a world war

Example: "There's a tuna fish sangwich on the ground. It's like World War III went down last night. It's crazy!"- Pauly D

shirt before the shirt (n.)—the wife beater one wears after he showers, but before he goes out to the club that allows him to lounge comfortably without sullying his fresh t-shirt

Example: "I got the fresh kicks, I got some jeans, I got the shirt. But I ain't wearin' the shirt when we go out. This is the shirt before the shirt."—The Situation

Sicilian hair (n.)—a thick mane atop the head of one who personally hails or whose ancestors hail from Sicily. These tresses cannot be maintained by any barber and need special attention.

When Vinny realizes he hasn't had his hair cut since his Miami migration, he seeks out a skilled hairdresser who can tame his thick mane. "The only thing I can do with it is get a tape up and a fade," he explains of his options, neither of which I understand. "If I don't have that, that's like saying you have to go out without putting gel in your hair." (The horror!) Vinny finds himself in the "hood" of Miami because that's where, "they know how to do it!" (Cue Barbershopcrossover spin-off)

Example: "I have thick, thick Sicilian hair...If someone can cut a black person's hair they can usually cut my hair."—Vinny

Space (n.)- a nightclub in Miami, Florida, ideal for gorilla hunting (see also, b.e.d., Klutch)

This club is also the perfect establishment to wear a fishnet hot pink and black two-piece ensemble appropriate to work a pole. "So Jenni comes out in her outfit and I'm like, 'This girl's a f-----' whore,'" Snooki says. "But that's why I love her… she looks like the ultimate stripper and she's very hot."

Example: "Space means like guidos, juicehead gorillas, sexy, tan, sweaty boys... and house music."—Snooki

Staten Island Dump (n.)—a nickname for Angelina; a synonym of Staten Island Ferry (see also, Cockblock of the Century, The Instigation)

When you carry your belongings in trash bags and hail from the widely-touted armpit of America, you're asking for the dirtiest of nicknames, and Angelina's Jersey Shore cast mates were quick to offer up suggestions.

Example: "Standing in one corner…4'9", two inches with the pouf—Snooki Polizzi. Standing in the other corner, at 322 lbs, the Staten Island Dump."—Ronnie narrates before Snooki and Angelina's altercation. "Angelina is just like the Staten Island Ferry. Everybody gets a ride and it's free!"—The Situation

steaming Alpo (n.)—premium, smoking hot dog food that one metaphorically serves to the significant other he/she is cheating on (see also, note, IFF)

Example: "Ronnie is serving up steaming Alpo on a plate to her because he's doggin' Sam so much."—The Situation

summer teeth (n.)—what one's mouth features when his/her dentition is not aligned, leading "some" to be a different way from the others

Example: "She had summer teeth. Some are like this and some are like that."—Pauly D

sunglasses (n.)—the perfect accessory to protect one's eyes from UV rays, strobe lights at a club, and infection in a hot tub

Because the Jersey Shore cast is rarely awake before sunset, but they must maintain their street cred, they often don sunglasses at night. From Vinny's aviators to Snooki's diamond-encrusted pair, they can't seem to take off their shades in any and all locales.

Example: "The glasses are pretty much all crystaled-out, all bling-bling…If I get pulled over, I'm gonna get in trouble today 'cause, well, when you put them on, you can't really see, so I don't think you can drive with them because you'll get a ticket."—Snooki

test (n.)—a challenge, whether mental, physical, or emotional

Example: "I don't like tests. That's why I didn't go to college. Don't test me. Cause I will fail the majority of the time."—Ronnie on Sam's claim that she's "testing" him

t-shirt time(n.)—the point in the evening during which a guido changes from his wife-beater tank top (aka "the shirt before the shirt") into his (ideally Ed Hardy-esque) top for the night right before it's time to leave to hit the club

This stage of the evening is so pivotal for the male cast members of Jersey Shore that they eventually gave "t-shirt time" its own operatic tune.

Example: "Angelina just got into a fight with Mike before t-shirt time."—Vinny. "Hopefully, they don't get into another fight and she'll punch Mike in the face before t-shirt time."—Pauly D

tyrannosaurus rex arms (n. pl.)—appendages that are relatively small for one's size, akin to those of the extinct carnivorous dinosaur (see also, earrings)

As Ronnie observes his roommate Snooki engaging in guidette warfare against Angelina, he notices her prowess and brute force, despite her undersized limbs.

Example: "She's so tiny. Her arms are like tyrannosaurus rex arms."—Ronnie on Snooki

the unthinkable (n.)—the act of having sex with someone who is under five feet tall, has orange skin, and goes by the name "Snooki"

When a drunken evening turns into a roommate-on-roommate smushfest, Vinny has morning after regrets about going where one would imagine few men have gone before.

Example: "Dude, what the f--- did I do last night? I'm like, 'Did I bang Snooki last night? Did I do the unthinkable?'"—Vinny

wake-up-the-whole-entire-house time (n.)—the point of the day in which one roommate awakens the rest of his cohabitants by serenading them with song, pulling on covers, and stomping loudly

In a "cabs are here"-inspired moment, Pauly D personally awakens each and every roommate both aurally and physically. With his mock barber-shop-quartet-like voice, the shirtless Pauly stomps through the cast's Miami home and croons a tune unofficially titled, "Wake Up the Whole Entire House Time."

Example: "It's wake-up-the-whole-entire-house time… Oh yeah. Wake up yeah."—Pauly D

a watermelon and a pinhole (n.)—a metaphor used to describe the anatomical impossibility of Vinny "getting it in" Snooki (see also, DTF, DTS)

After playing Goldilocks to discover which male roommate's bed is coziest, Snooki finds herself under Vinny's covers. But a DTS session leads to something a bit more along the DTF lines and the two are soon crossing some boundaries, as Snooki confesses to Sam the next day.

Example: "Sam, you have no idea how big this thing was…It was like putting like a watermelon into a pinhole."—Snooki on sex with Vinny

wisely (adv.)—a word that gives away one's intellectual credibility when used in an anonymous note…perhaps unwisely (see also, note)

The mystery surrounding who wrote the dreaded note was not exactly difficult for Ronnie to decipher. The hotheaded roommate used his advanced vocabulary to crack the code, coming to the conclusion that Snooki (or Shnooki, as he calls her) couldn't possibly have penned the note because of the impressive usage of the term "wisely."

Example: "Right away I know it's either Shnooki or Jenny, but then I read the letter and I see the word 'wisely' and I know Shnooki doesn't use that kind of vocabulary."—Ronnie

Yodels (n. pl.)—a Drake's pre-packaged dessert treat, inexplicably ideally consumed after a hearty Italian meal, accompanied by milk

Vinny's mom is a serious cook, as the show's first season exhibited. And she made the trek down to Miami to whip up an epic Italian meal yet again for the show's sophomore season. The cast feasted on a massive spread of pasta, meatballs, sausage, and cold cuts. And for dessert? A pre-packaged, chocolate frosted cream-filled cake made by the Drake's company…with tall glasses of milk, of course.

Example: "We got milk and we got Yodels."—Vinny

youse (n. pl.)—a group of people

In a Sopranos-inspired moment before her departure from the series (for the second time), Angelina decided her roommates were no longer worthy of being named individually and instead, went with the collective "youse," popularized in the Northeastern United States. That's how we know she was serious about leaving—that and the volume of her voice combined with her packed suitcases.

Example: "All of youse in this house are f----- fake. And I want you all to know that I can't stand any of youse."—Angelina