How To Tell People They Sound Racist

Many a times I have wanted to break this down so listen up...

Mark-Paul Gosselaar does Fallon interview as Zack Morris, commits to reunion

Gosselaar committed to Fallon's Saved by the Bell reunion and announced that Elizabeth Berkley is also in. That just leaves Dustin Diamond and Tiffani Thiessen. (Mario Lopez, Lark Voorhies, and Dennis Haskins had already RSVP'd yes.) Are we excited about this idea now?

14 Awful Titles for Celeb Memoirs

Just in case anyone is thinking of writing their own any time soon.  Here's a list of some of the cheesiest.

PRAIRIE TALE
By Melissa Gilbert - Gilbert's new book is the latest in a long line of celebrity memoirs. Beyond covering the pitfalls of fame or revealing shreds of behind-the-scenes gossip, the real thing these celeb tomes have in common is clear: Cringe-inducing titles.

MY WORD IS MY BOND: A MEMOIR
By Sir Roger Moore - Given that James Bond is the opposite of corny, maybe we should be giving Moore bonus points for achieving the impossible: making a 007 reference seem lame.

A LITTLE BIT WICKED: LIFE, LOVE, AND FAITH IN STAGES
By Kristin Chenoweth - You can have Wicked, or you can have ''stages'' as a proxy for both physical performance spaces and phases in life. But you cannot have both, inelegantly crammed into one title.

ROSES & THORNS: THE REALITY OF MY ROCK & ROLL FANTASY
By Bret Michaels - But...there are so many good phrases with the word poison in them. Opportunity: missed.

SECRETS OF A SPARROW
By Diana Ross - Tiny, ordinary, easy to ignore — yup, ''sparrow'' sounds right, Diana Ross.

LETTIN IT ALL HANG OUT: AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY BY RUPAUL
By RuPaul - Get it? Hang out? Oh, RuPaul, you entendre-loving scalawag.

DON'T HASSEL THE HOFF: THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY
By Duh - Maybe David Hasselhoff was trying to reclaim the term ''the Hoff,'' strip it of its irony, and thereby transform himself and his image from cheesy punchline into legitimate icon. Haha, just kidding.

LET'S TALK ABOUT PEP
By Sandy ''Pepa'' Denton - Let's talk about Pep, bay-bee! Let's talk about you and me, let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be, let's talk abouuuuut who? Because with out that ''a,'' or ''Salt and,'' just ''pep'' is basically unrecognizable.

SLY MOVES: MY PROVEN PROGRAM TO LOSE WEIGHT, BUILD STRENGTH, GAIN WILL POWER, AND LIVE YOUR DREAM
By Sylvester Stallone - Fine, it's not technically a memoir — but this exercise self-help tome (availablein hardcover) was too good to pass up.

FABULOSITY: WHAT IT IS & HOW TO GET IT 
By Kimora Lee Simmons  - Fair is fair: At least it's not a pun. But it is a made-up word that means ''rich and beautiful,'' and that's off-putting in its own way. (Plus, the answer to the second part seems to be ''have good genes and marry well.'' Which doesn't feel like it needs a whole book to explain.)

SEINLANGUAGE
By Jerry Seinfeld - It would be an awkward title for anyone, but from one of the funniest, most clever comedians ever? Oh, Jerry.

PRYOR CONVICTIONS AND OTHER LIFE SENTENCES  
By Richard Pryor - Maybe it's a trend: Brilliant comedian, lousy titleist. Yeesh.

MILES TO GO
By Miley Cyrus - Yes, one more mile to the promised land of more inventive title writing.

sTORI Telling
By Tori Spelling) - And let's not forget her VH1 series So noTORIous. Here's hoping there's a third education-geared installment called tuTORIal. Or a period drama called vicTORIan, to be followed by (also acceptable: hisTORIan) a photography book called picTORIal. Just throwing stuff out there.

'My Name Is Earl' may be saved by TBS

Oh say it's SO JOE!   My Name Is Earl is in early negotiations to be picked up by basic cable network TBS, weeks after broadcast network NBC cancelled the Emmy-winning series after four seasons, according to The Hollywood Reporter. TBS already has a deal in place to air syndicated reruns of Earl starting this fall, but it is still uncertain if a deal for 13 new episodes will pan out, in part because it's unclear whether the show's stars would return under what would most likely have to be a far-tighter budget.  PLEASE TBS, please for the love of God pick up My Name Is Earl!  

'Pushing Daisies': Back and Pushing toward it's end. We want more of it!

I must say, for a show that prides itself on its adroit language, I was dismayed to see the dust jacket of Emerson's manuscript read "gum shoe" instead of the correct "gumshoe." Well, maybe now that a publisher has bought it, a copyeditor will sort that out.

But just the fact that I'm talking about the use of clever slang proves how valuable Pushing Daisies is. There's no other show on ABC that approaches its wordplay. I mean, I happened to catch the last few minutes of the show that preceded Daisies this night: Here Come The Newlyweds -- more crappy, cheap "reality" programming! And yet there's only one more new episode of Pushing Daisies to savor.

Isn't it maddening that ABC took so long to release these last three Daisies, building up our fondness for the show again, only to make it disappear forever after next week?   I for one will miss the beloved show.  It's only so often that a show comes along with a great ensemble of characters and actors that feels - well, like family.  There hasn't been an episode where I have not found my mouth open (sometimes more than once) after hearing a cleverly written joke.

Let your frustration flow below, friends. 

'Jon & Kate Plus Eight': A (gasp) happy episode! Their 100th!

If the Octomom wasn't enough, this week's Jon & Kate Plus Eight didn't quite begin cheerily -- Kate sat alone on the two-seater sofa and announced to the camera, "At this point, whoever ends up on the sofa does the interview... it's called rolling with life" -- the rest of the half-hour was downright heart-warming. Most of the time.  I just wish that this group and the Octomom would go off to an episode of Survivor already and then disappear for good.

Adam Lambert Signs Record Deal... and comes out in Rolling Stone Magazine

American Idol’s runner-up is one step closer to becoming a glam-rock superstar.

Adam Lambert has inked deals with 19 Entertainment and RCA Recordings — and will be working on a debut album that is expected in the fall.  Lambert will record his album this summer while on the road with the other top 10 contestants for the Idols Live Tour, which kicks off July 5 in Portland, Ore.

And after several months of playing coy -– or, at least, letting people believe what they wanted -– Adam Lambert has told Rolling Stone that yes, he’s gay.  “I’m trying to be a singer, not a civil rights leader,” he told Rolling Stone.

“Love him or hate him, Lambert has added an element to the competition that has been woefully lacking in seasons past: a contestant so unique that you can’t wait to see what he will pull next out of his bag of tricks,”