Monday, December 6, 2010
This week’s Smallville was a twisty, topsy-turvy one — an hour that only seemed like a novelty respite from the series’ recent story lines. By the end, however, the episode titled “Luthor” had deepened the season’s themes.
In an alternate-Earth, baby Clark had been found [SPOILERS, OBVIOUSLY] in the cornfield by Lionel Luthor, and the kid grew up to be Ultra-Man, a super-powered murderer. Lois Lane and Oliver Queen were both engaged and united in their hatred for Clark Luthor and all he represented: greedy wealth and irresponsible power.
It all started in the “real” world of Smallville, where Tess discovered she’d inherited a mirror box, a Kryptonian relic. When clicked into place by Clark, it exchanged Clarks Kent and Luthor. “Our” Clark found himself at the mercy of his raging father, Lionel — John Glover, in a terrifically intense return to the series — and fending off the advances of his randy step-sister, the alternative-Tess. Meanwhile, back in the Smallville we know, Clark Luthor caused as much chaos and pain as he could.
The hour was all about the price we pay for trying to maintain family bonds, even when those we are bonded to harm us. For Tess, the dangers unleashed derived from the secret she’d been keeping from Clark Kent about the Luthor clone, Alexander, whom she thought was “the closest thing to family” that she’d ever have. For Clark, he saw in the alternate-Earth that the “Luthor blood is poison.”
All of this could have been ponderous — complete with a trite comparison to King Lear — were it not for the performances (especially Glover’s — his beating of Clark with a belt was powerfully painful to witness) and for Kelly Souders’ smart direction. Souders presented the alternative Earth in inky blacks and cobalt blues; menace hung heavily in the air.
By the end, the switch was reversed, Clark was back in the arms of his Lois, but in the final scene, we saw that Lionel had made the journey back with Clark. This leaves the door open for further misadventures with Lionel in Smallville. As the man said: Wouldn’t want to miss how it all turns out, do we?
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Paparazzi snapped several pictures of Britney Spears and what appears to be an angry Jason Trawick together in her car yesterday, after allegations of abuse.
RadarOnline posted a taped conversation allegedly between Spears and her former husband of 55 hours, Jason Alexander in which a voice reported to be Spears says, "That f***er is not my fiance."
The voice attributed to Alexander asks, "I thought he proposed to you or something at the beach?" Spears answers, "Before or after he beat on me?"
Both Radar and Star magazine have reported about the alleged abuse. However, Spears released a statement deriding the false accusations.
"The statements attributed to Jason Alexander are a complete fabrication as Britney has not had any form of communication with Mr. Alexander in years. The audio recording posted on Radaronline this morning purporting to be between Britney Spears and Jason Alexander is so obviously fake as to be laughable," her website reads.
Alexander, however, has taken a lie-detector test and passed, according to Star.
Now let me get this straight - Wesley Snipes gets 3 years for tax evasion but I'd put out a guess that 1/2 the US Congress & Senate (and let's add in the State level too) have not PAID their taxes and yet they still sit in an office making terrible decisions for the vast US public. Right, all I got to say is FREE SNIPES...
Wesley Snipes will soon have another role to add to his résumé: federal prisoner.
The U.S. Marshals ordered the "Blade" star to report to a Pennsylvania lockup next week to start a three-year sentence for tax evasion.
Snipes, 48, who starred in the movie "U.S. Marshals," must appear at the Federal Correctional Institution McKean, a medium-security prison, by noon on Dec. 9.
The order came after a judge denied Snipes' bid to remain free on bail while he appeals the verdict to the U.S. Supreme Court.
Snipes was convicted in 2008 of three misdemeanor tax evasion counts for failure to file returns between 1999 and 2001, cheating the government out of $2.7 million. The aging action hero was acquitted of five other charges, including felony tax fraud and conspiracy.
Despite sympathetic letters from fellow stars, including actors Denzel Washington and Woody Harrelson, a Florida judge slapped Snipes with a 36-month prison sentence.
His first appeal was struck down by an appellate court in Atlanta.
Last month, Snipes' lawyers requested a new trial on the grounds that Kenneth Starr, a financial adviser who pleaded guilty to fraud after acting as a government witness against Snipes, gave "tainted" testimony.
A federal judge denied the request, ruling that "the defendant Snipes had a fair trial; he has had a full, fair and thorough review of his conviction and sentence. ...The time has come for the judgment to be enforced."
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Zachary Garcia and Zachery Garcia may have homonymous names, but, as you'd imagine, they're actually very different people. The former is a University of Florida student who works at a sandwich shop. The latter is a teenager accused of murder. Investigators in Polk Country, Florida, however, failed to pick up on the subtle difference in spelling between the two names -- a mistake that came to light after a casual Google search.
Turns out, authorities in the region mistakenly circulated a driver's license photo of Zachary (with an 'a'), whom they clearly confused with the real suspect, Zachery (with an 'e'). The college student became aware of the mistake only after Googling his name, and discovering that (surprise!) he was wanted for murder. "I was just very shocked to find my picture and the article saying that I was convicted of a felony murder charge," he told Tampa Bay station WTSP. "And I was just very shocked and angry that someone put my name up there and said I did something I didn't do."
The actual suspect, along with four other teenagers, allegedly broke into a house on September 23rd. One of the homeowners shot and killed one of the teens, but, because the death took place in the middle of a felony, all three kids (including Zachery) were charged with murder. Zachary the sandwich-maker, meanwhile, claims his everyday problems aren't nearly as dramatic. "Everybody makes mistakes," Garcia added. "I work at Publix and I might get somebody's sub (order) wrong. But for somebody to get (the photo of a suspect) wrong... it's not a sandwich, it's somebody's life you're playing with." Very true, but on the bright side, at least Garcia's not wanted for murder. And that's certainly something we take for granted every day.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Leslie Nielsen, who dazzled with deadpan in The Naked Gun and Airplane!, passed away on Sunday at a hospital near his home in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., where he was being treated for pneumonia, according to the New York Times. He was 84.
The master of parody boasted a talent for delivering the most ridiculous lines in the straightest way possible, cloaking outright absurdity in straight-faced obliviousness. Ironically enough, the foundation of that earnest gravitas was built early in his career as a dramatic actor: After serving in the Royal Canadian Air Force and studying at New York City’s famed Actors Studio, the Saskatchewan-born Nielsen popped up on early ’50s TV. He received his first big film break playing sturdy Commander J.J. Adams in the 1956 sci-fi flick Forbidden Planet. Over the next few decades, he established himself as a reliable, handsome, rich-voiced character actor who graced myriad TV dramas (Peyton Place, Dr. Kildare) and movies (The Poseidon Adventure).
His career took a comical hard left turn when he was cast as Dr. Rumack in the 1980 big-screen parody film Airplane! (Let us honor his famous line, which stands as one of the best retorts in comedic cinema history: “Surely you can’t be serious!” “I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.”) Two years later he was tapped by the Airplane! brain trust to play Lt. Frank Drebin in the cop-show spoof sitcom Police Squad! Although the series lasted only six episodes, Nielsen earned an Emmy nomination for his work, and in 1988, re-inhabited the bumbling Drebin again for the big-screen adaptation
The Naked Gun. (It may be hard to find more laughs-per-minute in a comedy film than in the film’s baseball-game scene, which culminates with Drebin foiling an assassination attempt on the Queen of England). The success of The Naked Gun paved the way for two sequels in 1991 and 1994, and Nielsen continued down the parody path in not-as-memorable films like Spy Hard, Wrongfully Accused, and Dracula: Dead and Loving It. (He did earn notice in Scary Movie 3 and Scary Movie 4.)
Nielsen worked into his 80s, appearing in even more spoof flicks like Superhero Movie and 2009′s Stan Helsing. Surely, we can’t be more serious when we say: Leslie Nielsen, you will be missed.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
The trailer also reveals a bit more of the plot, which finds Hal Jordan (Reynolds) learning new powers and overcoming his fears to protect the Green Lantern Corp. from its new enemy, Parallax. Even more, we get our first official look at Blake Lively, who plays fellow test pilot and love interest Carol Ferris, and Peter Sarsgaard, as the villainous Hector Hammond.
'The Green Lantern' hits theaters June 17, 2011
Friday, November 12, 2010
Check out the AMNY article below and hear about how some of these fools found themselves on the unemployment line.
AMNY - Emily NGO
Trash your workplace in a status update and you might throw out something else — your job.
With bosses keeping a closer eye on your social-networking life, venting employees are learning the hard way their paychecks don’t come with First Amendment rights.
“Everyone thinks, ‘I’m in America. There’s freedom of speech,’ but that’s just when the government is involved,” said Lewis Maltby, president of the National Workrights Institute. “When it’s private sector, you’ve got no rights at all. If you vent a little bit about your boss, you’re toast.”
In a high-profile case last month, a Connecticut woman was ousted in part for badmouthing her boss on Facebook as a “17,” code for a psych patient.
Dawnmarie Souza is hardly the first to be digitally busted. A study last year by Internet security firm Proofpoint showed 8 percent of large companies have canned an employee for social-media-related activities, and experts predict that number has risen dramatically this year.
“The reality is that most employees have a larger potential voice than ever before because of social media,” said New York-based social media consultant Jason Keath. “A lot of companies want to avoid a PR crisis caused by one employee.”
So much so that companies are increasingly adopting social-media policies warning their workers to use common sense, Keath said.
In a twist that could benefit tech-savvy employees, the National Labor Relations Board is defending Souza in the Connecticut case, alleging she was illegally fired. A hearing is scheduled for January.
But don’t blog ill will toward your supervisors just yet.
“The legal aspect is still being hashed out,” said employment lawyer Tyson B. Snow. “There’s a lot of really, really gray area [because] the technology is so young.”
For now, you can be fired for any reason in “employment-at-will” states such as New York unless your ousting violates federal discrimination laws, Snow said.
Bronx resident Christopher Whitaker, whose cousin was fired because of a Facebook post complaining about his job, urged New Yorkers not to be so naïve.
“They forget that what they write stays out there forever,” said Whitaker, 40. “Find a confidante and talk offline, because in this economy, you better be careful of losing your job.”
Getting “Facebook fired” has become so common, it’s now a verb on urbandictionary.com. Here are notable examples:
* October: Three NYC public high school teachers were busted for having inappropriate communications with students on Facebook and got canned.
* September: A woman in the group “Fired by Facebook” said she was ousted as a McDonald’s manager for writing “F--- them nuggets” on a friend’s wall.
* March 2009: A newly hired employee on Twitter wrote “Cisco just offered me a job! Now I have to weigh the utility of a fatty paycheck against the daily commute to San Jose and hating the work,” promoter her would-be boss to respond, “Who is the hiring manager. I’m sure they would love to know that you will hate the work. We here at Cisco are versed in the web.”
* March 2009: A Philadelphia Eagles stadium employee was fired for using Facebook to vent his frustration at losing a popular teammate in a trade. “Dam Eagles R Retarded!!” he wrote.
A new official single from Michael Jackson‘s posthumous album Michael will be released this Monday, his label announced via press release. “Hold My Hand” is a duet with Akon that was recorded in 2007 and leaked in unfinished form the following year. According to the press release, “A handwritten note from Michael belonging to his Estate indicated his desire that ‘Hold My Hand’ be the first single on his next project.”
Epic Records also unveiled the complete track listing for Michael, including collaborations with 50 Cent and Lenny Kravitz. The album is due Dec. 14. Check out the track list after the jump and let us know what you think.
Michael track list:
1. “Hold My Hand” (duet with Akon)
2. “Hollywood Tonight”
3. “Keep Your Head Up”
4. “(I Like) The Way You Love Me”
5. “Monster” (featuring 50 Cent)
6. “Best Of Joy”
7. “Breaking News”
8. “(I Can’t Make It) Another Day” (featuring Lenny Kravitz)
9. “Behind The Mask”
10. “Much Too Soon”
Thursday, November 11, 2010
- Try to make Social Security more solvent by reducing annual cost-of-living increases for many recipients; raise the regular retirement age to 68 years by 2050 from the current 66, and to 69 by 2075; and make benefits more progressive to help Americans in lower-earning tax brackets. But changes would only benefit the Social Security program, not broader budget deficits.
- A gradual 15-percent a gallon increase in the federal gasoline tax from the current 18.4 cents.
- Reform cost-of-living increases for early civilian and military retirees.
- Reduce Congressional and White House budgets by 15 percent; freeze federal salaries, bonuses, and other compensation at non-Defense agencies for three years; cut the federal workforce by 10 percent; and slow the growth of foreign aid.
- Eliminate all congressional earmarks.
- Eliminate funding for commercial spaceflight.
- Sell excess federal property.
- Consolidate the tax code into three individual rates and one corporate rate; eliminate the alternative minimum tax and some expense-write-off programs; increase the federal gas tax and some other user fees.
- Reduce farm subsidies by $3 billion per year by reducing direct payments and other subsidies.
- Make scores of other changes, including an end to payments to states and tribes for abandoned mines; an extension of the Federal Communications Commission's authority to auction radio spectrum licenses; a requirement that the Tennessee Valley Authority impose transmission surcharge on electricity sales.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
"I will not support 'Breaking News' and a few others [off the album] because it simply is not him," Taryll Jackson, son of the singer's brother Tito, wrote on Twitter.
Much of the song features multiple vocal tracks, making it hard to pinpoint where Jackson is, but the opening line has a single, arguably weak and shaky, voice. Listen to It Here
"Everybody wanting a piece of Michael Jackson, reporters stalking the moves of Michael Jackson, just when you thought he was done, he comes to give again," the lyric goes, over a bouncy drum and guitar line.
Without saying which parts of the song he thinks were altered, Taryll reveals he isn't alone in believing something's amiss.
"I KNOW my Uncle's voice and something's seriously wrong when you have immediate FAMILY saying it's not him," he writes, later adding, "Sounding like Michael Jackson and BEING Michael Jackson are two different things."
TJ Jackson, another son of Tito's, calls the track a sham and criticizes Sony for pushing the single, which he claims was not a priority of Michael's.
"There's many MJ vocal impersonators. Some better than others. But there is only ONE Michael Jackson. Deceptively merging shady vocals with MJ samples (from prior MJ records) will never fool me. Why they would ignore the obvious, look the other way and rush a suspicious track that was NEVER on my Uncle's radar is beyond me. I'm disgusted, disappointed and saddened."
Even Jackson's sister, LaToya, has weighed in, telling TMZ, "That doesn't sound like him."
Responding to the controversy, Sony said in its statement that it had "complete confidence in the results of our extensive research, as well as the accounts of those who were in the studio with Michael, that the vocals on the new album are his own."
Monday, November 8, 2010
Could Keith really be Bree’s future?
All bets were against it, especially given their 17-year age difference, when this season started. But on the episode "A Humiliating Business," Bree confesses to Keith that she has begun menopause and he takes it in sexy stride.
Keith does, of course want kids, but Bree is over that stage of her life, more interested in hot sex and learning new aerobic actvities. After all, she is a grandmother, remember.
The irony of Bree’s gyno being Keith’s mother was a good twist, especially when Mary told Keith that Bree’s signature red hair is not her natural color. Awkward!
Speaking of unnatural: is it just me, or was it a bit of a stretch to try to imply that Carlos could be flipped by gay neighbor Bob? I just didn’t see it, but I suppose it did provide a good set up for some of the best quotes of the night. To wit:
Gaby [to Lee]: Use the back door.
Lee: I always do. |
Gaby [on Carlos]: He's not going to give up these chimichangas, for a plate of frank and beans. |
Although that mini storyline did not have me convinced, it did have me laughing.
In other humiliating Lane news, kudos to Renee and Lynette for starting their own business. A bit random that they chose interior design, however. I mean, it’s not like either of them have any experience, and, let’s face it, Lynette does not exactly have a high style home of her own. Then again, she's just the brains behind the operation.
I actually felt bad for Susan when she was asked to be the nanny instead of a part of the design team. She actually would have been a good addition considering she is an artist, and clearly has a better eye for it than gold digging Renee and Mom of the Year Lynette. But it’s Mary Poppins-ville for Susan this time around. Man, from an Internet porn maid to a nanny all in one swoop – now that’s progress!
Vengeance is the key for both Paul and Beth, and as predicted, Beth is a co-conspiritor with Felicia Tillman to get revenge. Although we’re not sure what their plan is yet, we can’t wait to see what comes next. Beth, the demure and naïve wife, may just have the last laugh in this marriage. She’s showing signs of the other Desperates on the Lane: blackmailing an ex con. Sounds like she’s catching on quickly.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Epic Records/Sony has opted to keep a lid on most other details about 'Michael,' but has released the stunning cover art, which features a sort of "This Is Your Life" collection of Jackson images from throughout his blockbuster career. Front and center is the singer in the role he yearned for most: King of Pop.
"The creative process never stopped for the King of Pop, who was always planning for his next album," a statement said.
It's not certain whether his last "new" song, 'This Is It,' will be on the album. That track, co-written by Paul Anka, was actually recorded by a Puerto Rican singer 18 years ago.
In their announcement, the label said 'Breaking News' was recorded in 2007 at a friend's home. Starting Monday, fans will be invited to hear it on the late singer's official website.
The other songs were recorded at studios in Los Angeles and Las Vegas, and it's been reported that he was working with will.i.am, Akon and Ne-Yo before his death last summer.
The album artwork comes from an oil painting by Kadir Nelson, who tried to explain the collage in an e-mail to Reuters: "Michael wears a golden suit of armor and stares at the viewer as he is crowned by cupids. He places his hand over his heart and looks directly at the viewer, a symbol of Jackson's big heart and strong connection to his fans and music. A monarch butterfly sits on his shoulder, another symbol of Jackson's metamorphosis as a singer and entertainer, as well as a symbol of royalty. His musical history unfolds behind him."
Jackson's last album of original material, 'Invincible,' was released in late 2001
Monday, November 1, 2010
It was yet another tragic night for Susan Delfino—and no, not only because of the peculiar Halloween costume she was wearing. Since we're on that note, however, let's momentarily delay digging into her deeper issues and discuss Susan’s unfortunate get-up: What, exactly, was she supposed to be? Raggedy Ann gone pink? A rouged-up Little Bo Peep? A barmaid from a bizarre, Germanic version of Candyland? What??!? Or perhaps it's more like whatever. Either way, Susan had bigger troubles than trying to put together a coherent Halloween costume.
Those troubles are mainly courtesy of the ever-sadistic and mysterious Paul Young, who last week threatened to blackmail Susan by spilling the beans about her soft-core porn job if she didn’t sell him her house on Wisteria Lane. Susan decided to detonate Paul Young's leverage by simply telling Mike the truth about the website, and surprisingly, he wasn’t that mad at her. Mike’s reactions instead centered around how he hadn’t personally done enough to support the family and how much he wanted to bash in Paul Young’s face. (I’m just realizing… Paul Young is totally one of those characters who requires the use of a last name, no? Let's test this theory for the rest of the recap!)
Instead of letting Mike loose on Paul Young, Susan decided to take matters into her own hands (because she’s typically so good at being calm and collected, you know!) and confront her tormentor directly with—what else, when you're a Wisteria Lane veteran?—a basket of muffins. But Susan's motive for the visit wasn't really about showing off her aptitude in the kitchen: She wanted to figure out a way to get Paul Young out of the house he was renting from her. So Susan found a thumbtack he’d put in the wall and claimed that their lease agreement had been violated.
Her tactic led to this funny exchange: “This is you…” she said, gingerly placing one of her raisin muffins on the countertop. “This is you,” she continued, after she smashed it dramatically with a hammer, “if you tell anyone and Mike finds out.” Before she left—her planned eviction executed—she pointedly added: “Oh, and enjoy those raisin muffins. At least I hope they’re all raisins—my apartment has rats.” (Side note: Between this scene and later in the episode -- when Susan crazily attacked Paul Young with a club she stole from MJ -- I have to admit I was enjoying the hate-hate chemistry between Teri Hatcher and Mark Moses. Anybody else with me?)
In the end, though, Susan's confession to Mike wasn't the "checkmate" move she was hoping it would be: Paul Young blabbed the news about Susan's website shenanigans to parents at Oakridge School -- where she apparently still works as an art teacher; not that we've seen much of the gig in season 7 -- and Susan got the boot. That loss of income led directly to Mike finally deciding to take the oft-discussed job in Alaska. Here's the weird part, though: Despite the tension Susan's freelance work and subsequent firing caused, you'd have thought she and Mike would be devastated at the prospect of a three-month separation. But I couldn’t have felt less emotion between the pair as they said goodbye before Mike's trip to the north. Hell, Paul Young and his weirdo bride Beth almost had more touching moments tonight than Mike and Susan did.
Speaking of Paul Young andBeth, the pair continued their odd, passion-less dance they call marriage for most of last night’s episode. They even saw a therapist at one point to figure out why Beth din't want to consummate their relationship. Turns out she’s a virgin. Which leads me to: What is this woman’s dealio? As much as I initially thought Beth might be an innocent bystander in this whole strange Paul Young thing, it’s becoming increasingly more apparent that she may have something more sinister up her sleeve.
What pointed toward possible plotting from Beth was cryptic phone conversation with her mama. “I’m trying to make it work,” she whispered urgently. “I know I made a commitment, but I am so unhappy.” Was Beth referring to the commitment she made to be Paul Young's wife? Or some other commitment to a larger plan that involves bringing Paul Young down? We'll have to wait and see. But that phone call seemed deliberately vague, a hint that the writers may have something interesting in store. Beth did eventually show her “commitment” by threatening Susan with a gun after she attacked Paul Young on Halloween night, and then giving her man a big smooch on the lips. There’s first base for you, Paul Young! Whether the rest of the evening turned out to be trick or treat was left to the imagination. But truly, Beth should be scared if her murderous hubby doesn’t slide into home soon, because his “I want you gone” line to her earlier in the episode sounded a lot more like a threat than a gentle want for her to leave his house.
Lynette's story arc was just as weighty as Susan's, but played out in the most peculiar way. The short of it was that Tom’s mother Allison, who had been staying with the Scavos to help them with their new baby whatchamacallher, began descending into dementia—a plot thread that culminated with Allison getting lost in the midst of Wisteria Lane's Halloween festivities. Now look, I don't want to diminish the positive aspects of the Housewives' writing staff tackling a terrible and sadly common problem—my own family grappled with my grandmother's dementia a while back, so I certainly can feel the Scavos' pain—but I've got to ask: Does Allison’s dementia have any larger effect on what’s happening on Wisteria Lane? Where is it all leading? I kept waiting for Grandma Scavo's illness to have consequences that didn’t feel so confined specifically to Tom and Lynette, but if that’s not what’s going to eventually happen, then why go to the trouble of even opening this can of worms? Just to show the always-vulnerable state of the Scavo family?
The rest of the ladies on Wisteria Lane were dealing with much smaller potatoes than Susan, Paul Young, and Lynette. Gaby continued her insanely rude fawning over her biological daughter Grace, while the daughter she raised, Juanita, watched angrily from the sidelines. I’ve said it many times before, but Madison de la Garza—who plays Juanita—is one of the standout actresses on this show. How good was she while demanding to be a princess like Grace? Or after she snipped away Grace’s hair to remove the stuck tiara? Or when she told off her mother at the end of the episode? That grin alone should win her an award of some kind.
As usual, Gaby’s storyline contained many of the best zingers of the evening. “You’re either going as a dog or a little Mexican girl,” Gaby told Juanita, after she complained that she wanted to have a princess costume like Grace's. “And in this neighborhood, we both know which one’s getting more candy!” And Gaby nailed it again after she called Juanita a dog and proceeded to fill up her candy bucket to satiate the child. “Don’t worry,” she told Allison. “It’s cheaper than therapy.”
Bree,meanwhile, discovered things about her new boyfriend Keith. First, that he has a young, female roommate. Second, that Keith has a history of violence—he’s been arrested for assault in the past, “defending” the women he’s dated. Natch, the problem reared its ugly head when a guy got aggressive with Bree at the party and, in turn, Keith got aggressive with him. But it all served as a bridge for both Keith and Bree to reveal more about themselves. “Do you wanna talk about my perfect lawn?” Bree asked Keith, after he said she should break up with him for his anger issues. “Nine years ago, my son found me face down drunk on it. It’s true! He had to turn the sprinklers on to wake me up. Did you not know you’re dating the biggest lush in Fairview?” Everything is on the table between these two now.
Finally, we get to Renee, who truly had very little to do last night besides throw the Halloween party where Bree and Keith’s situation went down; dress in the same sexy Marilyn Monroe costume as Lee (winner: Renee, duh!); and offer up one of the funniest moments of the night. I loved it when, after she waltzed into Lynette’s house to tell everyone about her Halloween party, Allison Scavo picked up the invite and exclaimed, “Oh, a party!” Fully channeling Ugly Betty's Wilhelmina Slater, Renee shut it down in a minute: “No,” she intoned in that way that only Vanessa Williams can. That kind of brilliance shouldn't be wasted, but then again, I suppose Vanessa can’t rule Wisteria Lane every single week, as much as I might like her to.
What were your thoughts on the episode? Any definitive theories on what Susan's costume was supposed to be? Who did Marilyn Monroe better: Renee or Lee? Do you see something else in the Allison Scavo-getting-dementia storyline that I don’t? And how long before Grace and Juanita figure out the truth about their biological mothers?
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Battlestar Galactica ended in March, 2009, and the prequel-spin-off Caprica has never had BSG‘s cultural prominence. (Or its ratings.)
Now, it looks like Syfy is hitting the reset button on the Prequel Option: This time, more space violence! According to a press release from Syfy, the network has just greenlit a new two-hour pilot for Battlestar Galactica: Blood & Chrome, set ten years into the first Cylon war (which would place it about four decades before BSG).
The pilot centers on a young William Adama, played by Edward James Olmos in BSG and an adorably annoying child actor in Caprica. Coming on the heels of the Syfy Channels cancelation of Caprica, I’m pessimistic about any young actor trying to inhabit the Adama character. (Wouldn’t it have been better to focus on someone else?)
Blood & Chrome sounds like a purposeful step back into the political tension and breakneck Viper battles of BSG, which is exciting.
Caprica is toast. Syfy has announced that the low-rated Battlestar Galactica prequel has been canceled.
“The remaining first run episodes of Caprica – airing Tuesdays at 10/9c – will be removed from the schedule as of next Tuesday, November 2,” said the network in a statement. “These final five episodes of the season will be re-scheduled to air at a to be announced time in the first quarter of 2011, and will conclude the run of the series.”
“We appreciate all the support that fans have shown for Caprica and are very proud of the producers, cast, writers and the rest of the amazing team that has been committed to this fine series,” said Mark Stern, EVP of original programming at Syfy.
“Unfortunately, despite its obvious quality, Caprica has not been able to build the audience necessary to justify a second season.”
The news comes less than a week after Syfy unveiled plans for another Galactica prequel, this one set 10 years into the first Cylon war.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
All one has to do is look at our crumbling infrastructures here in the US as compared to countries in Europe and Asia and alarm bells should have gone off years ago yet politicians, unions, and the like have done nothing but take take take and give nothing back in return. We have the oldest subway system in NYC, an electrical grid that dates back to the 30's, and we've failed to lead the way in technologies such as clean fuels, solar and wind power. So I ask, China has a fast train so why don't we? Because like the Romans we've become just to comfy in our temples and palaces looking down on the rest of the world. Well, NEWSFLASH, the rest of the world is moving along just fine and will think nothing of us or our bark when we fall in place much like the Russia has.
Fast train, big dam show China's engineering might -
By ELAINE KURTENBACH, AP Business Writer
China rolled out its fastest train yet on Tuesday and announced that the Three Gorges Dam, the world's biggest hydroelectric project, is now generating electricity at maximum capacity — engineering triumphs that signal the nation's growing ambitions as its economy booms.
The successes demonstrate how, after decades of acquiring technology from the west, Beijing has begun to push the limits of its new capabilities, setting the bar higher on mega-projects as it seeks to promote the image of a powerful, modern China. But many of these initiatives have come at great human and environmental cost, and some have questioned whether the country fosters a sufficiently innovative spirit to compete on the next level.
Still in the works: more nuclear power plants, a gargantuan project to pump river water from the fertile south to the arid north, and a $32.5 billion, 820-mile (1,300-kilometer) Beijing-to-Shanghai high-speed railway that is scheduled to open in 2012.
"We are now much faster," Railway Ministry spokesman Wang Yongping said at Tuesday's inauguration of the super-fast line from Shanghai's western suburb of Hongqiao to the resort city of Hangzhou. "Now other countries are hoping to cooperate with us."
The train will cruise at a top speed of 220 mph (350 kph), making the 125-mile (200-kilometer) trip in 45 minutes.
China already has the world's longest high-speed rail network and aims to more than double its length to 10,000 miles (16,000 kilometers) by 2020.
Chinese companies are also vying for projects overseas, including in the U.S., which leads the world in freight railway technology but has almost no high-speed rail expertise. That's a mark of how well and quickly the technology has been adopted by Chinese companies, who have traditionally only been able to compete on price in bidding for railway and other basic infrastructure projects in the developing world.
The Three Gorges Dam has been more controversial, though the government has relentlessly touted the $23 billion project as the best way to end centuries of floods along the mighty Yangtze and provide energy to fuel the country's economic boom.
The water level in the vast reservoir behind it hit its peak height of 574 feet (175 meters) at 9 a.m. on Tuesday, according to project operator, the China Three Gorges Project Corp. The previous record was 567 feet (172.8 meters), set in 2008, the year the generators began operating.
In the future, the water level will be adjusted depending on flood-control needs but kept within 100 feet (30 meters) of the maximum.
While raising the water level increases the electricity production of the dam, some geologists have warned that damming up too much water in the reservoir carries a heightened risk of landslides, earthquakes and prolonged damage to the river's ecology. As officials attempted to raise water levels in the reservoir last fall, at least one town had to evacuate dozens of residents after a hairline crack appeared on the slopes above homes.
In addition, millions have been displaced and great swaths of productive farmland sacrificed for dam and projects like it.
Company chairman Cao Guangjing called Tuesday's feat a "historical milestone." He said annual power generation will reach 84.7 billion kilowatt hours, enabling "the project to fulfill its functions of flood control, power generation, navigation and water diversion to the full."
Average economic growth rates of more than 9 percent per year over the past two decades have laid the foundation for rapid progress in a growing number of fields, including launching three manned space flights since 2003 and building a railway across the Tibetan plateau from Beijing to Lhasa. The 2008 Beijing Olympics and this year's mammoth Shanghai World Expo have demonstrated a growing managerial sophistication as well as ability to build infrastructure on an enormous scale.
But while the tremendous growth has enabled China to build big, some wonder if it can build smart — and become a source of true innovation.
Science and technology research in the country tends to be heavily topdown, laden with a stifling government bureaucracy. Many of China's best scholars and scientists depart for greener pastures abroad, while other top minds are pushed into administrative roles, leaving them little time for research.
Although China holds the patents on the technology, design and equipment used by the CRH380 train, some in the industry question the degree to which China is justified in claiming the latest technology as its own.
"Everybody knows that a lot of the core technology is European," Michael Clausecker, director general of Unife, the Association of the European Rail Industry, said in a recent interview.
And despite the obvious benefits high-speed railways bring, the replacement of slower lines with more expensive high-speed trains has prompted complaints from passengers reluctant to pay higher fares, especially on shorter routes.
"Recruiters typically devote only 10-15 seconds to read any resume," says Wil Lemire, director of career services at Western New England College in Springfield, Mass. To make that precious time count, job seekers need to create concise, attention-grabbing profiles that make employers want to know more.
Things to include
"Some people refer to the professional summary as the resume equivalent of a 30-second sales pitch or an elevator speech," says Carolyn Yencharis Corcoran, assistant director of the Insalaco Center for Career Development at Misericordia University in Dallas, Pa. "We recommend that our students take great care in writing this area, as it is yet another way for them to demonstrate their ability to communicate pointedly and efficiently and to exude professionalism by using industry-specific keywords in the proper context."
Experts generally favor the profile being placed right under contact information at the top of a resume. (This well-crafted skills summary also can prove useful as a networking intro or as part of an online profile.) Among the items candidates may wish to include are:
- Keywords that match those of the job description
- Hard skills (professional and technical experience)
- Soft skills (personal attributes)
- Advanced degrees
- Years of experience
- Interesting achievements
- Anything that sets one apart from other candidates
"Like any other section of your resume, the professional summary requires some self-reflection, time and attention," Corcoran says. To get the creative juices flowing, she suggests:
- Asking co-workers, family members, professors and friends what qualities they like most about you.
- Thinking about positive comments you've received from employers or teachers.
- Reflecting on awards received.
- Remembering instances where you handled an emergency, presented or taught something, made something more efficient
or contributed to a change.
Things to avoid
Cynthia Favre, director of career management at Gustavus Adolphus College in Saint Peter, Minn., offers this precaution when creating a summary: "Don't include things that most everyone can do (such as use the Internet or Word). It actually makes the candidate look like he doesn't have useful skills."
Favre also cautions against using vague adjectives, such as "excellent" and "great." "Such words encourage the reader to compare the candidate with others. Take the phrase 'an excellent communicator.' Compared to whom? Barack Obama? Your college roommate? It is better to state the skills as factually as possible and let the reader determine if they are excellent and of value to him."
Putting your best self forward
While seasoned workers can use their skills summary to describe past job accomplishments, novice job seekers often worry that they will appear lacking. While it is inevitable that different candidates will bring different attributes to the table, the main thing is to focus on what you can contribute.
"It's important that the job seeker know what the job requirements are in order to properly sort and rank his own knowledge, skills and abilities," Lemire says. "Recent graduates should use skills and knowledge gained from part-time jobs and summer jobs, internships, classroom projects and activities on and off campus."
Corcoran agrees that it is up to each individual to identify and present her own strengths. "While a seasoned worker will have more hands-on experience to include in a professional summary, new grads will want to highlight the things that set them apart -- such as possessing skills in the newest and latest technology, energy and drive, openness to multiple areas and an eagerness to learn."
Remember that whether this is your first job or your tenth, you only have a bit of space to get yourself noticed. Choose your words carefully, and chances are an employer will want to hear more.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
It was the tweet heard round "Sesame Street."
"Ever notice how similar my hair is to Mr. T's?" lovable sweater-clad Bert wrote on the official "Sesame Street" Twitter account in June. "The only difference is mine is a little more 'mo,' a little less 'hawk.'"
Taking the "mo" to mean "homosexual," the tweet had gay bloggers, activists, and parents buzzing that the show was letting them in on a big secret with an under-the-radar wink.
The Los Angeles Times took the post as the latest evidence in a history of clues the show has dropped over the years that Bert and Ernie are more than just friends, reviving the (nearly) age-old question: are Bert and Ernie gay?
The puppet duo have been best friends and roommates since the show began over 40 years ago, but curious fans have long wondered if there is more to their close relationship.
"Bert and Ernie conduct themselves in the same loving, discreet way that millions of gay men, women and hand puppets do," Kurt Anderson wrote in his 1980 book "The Real Thing." "They do their jobs well and live a splendidly settled life together in an impeccably decorated cabinet."
As proof, the Times cites "Sesame Street"'s history of inviting openly gay celebrity guests to the show, such as lesbian comedian Wanda Sykes who appeared this season and Neil Patrick Harris who once came on the show as "the shoe fairy."
If that's not enough to convince you, the Times adds "Sesame"'s spoof of HBO's racy series "True Blood," which stars gay characters and has a gay fan base, as evidence of another effort to appeal to gay viewers.
"Now some people are wondering: Is 'Sesame Street' brought to you by the letters G-A-Y?" the Times asks.
Of course, this isn't the first time people have wondered about what's really going on behind Bert and Ernie's closed doors.
In 2002, Sesame Workshop threatened to sue an LA filmmaker whose film "Ernest and Bertram" portrayed the puppets in a volatile gay relationship, ending in Ernie's suicide.
The are-they-or-aren't-they question has even made it to rumor-buster website Snopes.com, which has a page dedicated to the issue.
"Claim: 'Sesame Street' muppets Bert and Ernie are live-in lovers, and they're about to get married," the site states, with the answer: "Status: False."
Though the show intentionally appeals to a wide variety of audiences, the creators have steered clear of putting Bert and Ernie on top of any floats in the gay pride parade.
"Bert and Ernie, who've been on 'Sesame Street' for 25 years, do not portray a gay couple, and there are no plans for them to do so in the future. They are puppets, not humans. Like all the Muppets created for 'Sesame Street,' they were designed to help educate preschoolers. Bert and Ernie are characters who help demonstrate to children that despite their differences, they can be good friends," Sesame Workshop said in a statement in 1993.
Sesame Workshop President and CEO Gary Knell put it more simply.
"They are not gay, they are not straight, they are puppets," he said in 2007. "They don't exist below the waist."
Monday, October 25, 2010
In the forthcoming Halloween episode of DH, we’ll see that Susan’s forced to reveal her big secret – that she has a naughty internet job – to Mike, who’s going to be very shocked.
However, Susan dressing up as Baby Jane may add a sinister edge to her confession…
Also, Lynette chooses to dress up as a 1920s flapper, but despite her joining in the Halloween mood, she’s really worried about Tom’s memory lapses.
Bree gets decked out as a cheerleader, and in this episode, she’ll learn a secret about Keith.
Paul’s grasping at romantic straws and hoping his taking Beth out will reignite the missing spark in their marriage, and Juanita gets suspicious about Gaby’s sudden interest in Grace…
Also, Rene isn’t too pleased when Lee turns up wearing the exact same Marilyn Munroe outfit.
Excited and Scared airs on Halloween night, October 31st, and here’s the sneak peek. Enjoy!
In the upcoming Vampire Diaries episode ‘Masquerade’, viewers will see Damon and Stefan devising a new plan to get rid of Katherine at Lockwood’s masquerade ball…
We’ll see Jeremy, Alaric and Bonnie all getting together to assist Stefan and Damon in taking Katherine out, but Katherine has a plans of her own and she invites her old buddy Lucy (Natashia Williams), to attend the ball…
She and Katherine apparently have “a surprise” that nobody could’ve foreseen.
And according to BSC Review, “Things go from bad to worse when Matt and Tyler start doing shots with their friends.”
The episode will air on Thursday October 28th on The CW.
Here’s the clip!
Wisteria Lane Divas Smackdown 2010: Second Match – Gaby vs. Renee
I died when Renee punched the hell out of Gaby in the nightclub. I couldn’t wait to see how the two ladies got there and when I found out, I was feeling kind of… blah. Yeah, we finally got to meet Renee’s husband Doug, but other than that introduction, the only funny/interesting thing about the whole incident was the actual fight itself. Although, we did learn how far Renee will go to get whatever she wants by sleeping with her husband’s lawyer. Low blow there, in my opinion. Plus, I wonder if this is the last we have seen of Doug Perry. I am glad that the ladies did bury the hatchet, and managed to let bygones be bygones. Maybe Bravo’s Real Housewives should take a lesson from the ladies of Wisteria Lane.
Paul Makes His Move And Corners Susan’s Next Move Back To Wisteria Lane
Now, this was where the action was and I apologize for every piece of whining I have done about Susan’s story line this year. We could’ve guessed the outcome when Paul received Mike’s rejection on buying Susan’s house via Lee. The red herring of Susan being fired kind of gave away the surprise ending, especially when Maxine rehired her for a job that paid top dollar. Even with all those heavy clues being dropped, the reveal was still satisfying and I jumped with Susan when Paul appeared on her laptop screen. Now, Paul has Susan right where he wants her, but what in God’s name could he want with Susan’s house? Did he leave something there? Or is he really just really going after Susan’s happiness?
B.A.G. Is A Sex Machine!
Seeing Bree walking after Keith got a hold of her was hilarious. Obviously, neither Orson nor Rex were doing their jobs in the bedroom. Karl, maybe, but I doubt it was all in one day. Are we going to see a more relaxed and refreshed Bree from now on?
Mrs. Scavo vs. Mrs. Scavo
I’m not going to lie. This storyline had me riding the fence all night until the end. While I don’t see a problem with a woman wanting to take care of her family, there is respect to be had. The Scavo men, especially Tom and the twins, were being complete jackasses. Point blank. With that being said, Lynette crossed the line by letting slip about Mrs. Scavo’s marriage. To me, that’s the only thing that I saw Lynette do wrong. Anything else is entirely not her fault in my opinion. Tom could be trying to save money by hiring his mother, but he has to learn to respect her as well. When his parents come around he acts like a big kid, which is why I got where Lynette was coming from tonight. I wouldn’t want my sons treating my mother like that either. It’s that simple.
Now with Mrs. Scavo having Alzheimer’s Disease, I wonder how this will affect the dynamic in the household? I wonder if it is just kicking in or if it’s been something she’s been hiding from Tom? Time will tell…
What were your thoughts on tonight’s episode?
The good news, though, is that Susan actually had some acting to do this week instead of just flaunting her jugs for VaVaVaBroom. I was almost touched when Lynette covered for Susan’s money issues, claiming it was lent to her to cover some of their birthing bills that insurance did not cover. Yeah, believable. I would definitely ask my closest friends for $9,000 to cover the birth of the fifth child that I can’t afford.
In other (not entirely interesting) news, we are pleased to see that Renee will be sticking around this season after kicking her desperate ex-hubby back to Manhattan. With her new alliance with Gaby, these two will surely get into some diva drama. After that bar brawl, we can’t wait to see it.
Interesting, though, that after Gaby’s obsession with doting on her biological daughter, we saw no mention of her this week – or the child swap for that matter. Gaby went from concerned bio-mom, to a kid-free champagne drinking drama queen with her nose “out of joint” over Renee’s antics this episode. I guess Gaby won’t be getting the Mom of the Year award from either of her kiddos this year.
Speaking of mom of the year... when might things let up for Lynette? This lady just can’t get a break.
As if a worthless husband and five ungrateful kids weren’t enough, she now has her mother-in-law living with them. The Schaivos time warped back to the 1950’s, where cookies are made fresh daily, and drinks are poured anytime you hold your glass up. On top of that, kooky Grandma is showing signs of Alzheimer’s. It looks like this house helper may just become another of Tom and Lynette’s dependents.
Elsewhere, Paul Young is scheming away to take down the neighborhood. Bbut am I the only one not interested? Honestly, I could care less about this guy. The whole murdered on Wisteria Lane thing is a tad overdone. Let’s remember, the show is called Desperate Housewives, not Desperate Ex-con Jailbird. No one watches the show because of this villain’s plans to take down the Lane, do they?
So back to the only semi-interesting thing that happened: Bree getting sexed up. Pretty clever that she came up with a way to tire out her man slave in a different manner, via a long list of chores. Turns out Keith feels a bit dumb compared to his classy lady, so sex is the only way he thought he could keep her interested. Awww, almost want to cry for you, Brian Austin Green. But after your heart to heart about how you like each other just the way you are, we’re confident you’ll be just fine, Breith.
Susan’s days as a sexy internet sensation may be coming to an end after she angers an important client and incurs the wrath of her boss, Maxine; Renee and Gabrielle are headed for a smackdown after each of them reveals an intimate secret about the other to the wrong people; Bree finds herself exhausted by younger lover Keith’s sexual stamina; Lynette is angry with Tom after he asks his mother to become the baby’s nanny without talking it over with her first; and housewife Emma Graham (singer-songwriter Dana Glover) puts on a cabaret show — with the aid of saxophonist Dave Koz — with surprising results, on “Desperate Housewives,”
When Torchwood makes its Starz debut this coming summer, there would be a couple of new characters on board? Well, now I can tell you not only who they are but also who’s likely to play them (hint: you know and like all three).
• Rex Matheson is a sharp-as-nails, funny-as-hell, tough-as-rawhide CIA agent who cares less about making a good impression than he does making a lasting one. Sounds juicy, right? So no wonder my sources tell me that both Dollhouse alum Enver Gjokaj and One Tree Hill grad Chad Michael Murray are eyeing the role.
• Esther Katusi is a CIA Watch Analyst — in other words, a grunt — who, against all odds, has both an unshakable faith in human nature and a monster crush on Rex. Greek goddess Amber Stevens is said to be the frontrunner for this part.
So what do you think about the names being bandied? You got someone(s) better in mind? Lemme hear it below.
Friday, October 22, 2010
b.e.d. (n.)—a nightclub in Miami, Florida, which stands for "beverage.entertainment.dining" (see also, Klutch, Space)
The cast of Jersey Shore loves few things more than a three-letter acronym (i.e. "GTL, baby!"). It's no wonder then, that during one of their first nights in the MIA (not the rapper or the airport, but rather, the city of Miami, where season two took place), Snooki, JWoww, Sammi, The Situation, Pauly D, Vinny, Angelina, and Ronnie made their way to this hot spot. But what happens at b.e.d., doesn't necessarily remain under the covers—as Sammi soon discovered thanks to a not-so-anonymous, but incredibly infamous note.
Example: "The first night at b.e.d., when you left, Ron made out with 2 girls and put his head in between a cocktail waitresses breasts." —The Note
big sense of humor (n.)—a large quantity of the ability to laugh and/or to make another laugh. Also, an important quality in a juice head and/or gorilla. (see also, frolic)
While bored at her place of work, Lecca Lecca Gelato Caffe, Snooki decided to come up with a checklist of her "idea" (as JWoww says) characteristics in a man. Of the approximately 20 qualities—which ran the gamut from the physical ("tan") to the culinary ("likes pickles")—one of her most meaningful was "big sense of humor."
butterface flavor (n.)—a nonexistent variety of gelato to describe a girl who frequents the ice cream parlor and manages to maintain her figure, "but her face" does not exactly induce the "yum" factor
Working at Lecca Lecca has its perks for Pauly D and Vinny, who use their position to pick up girls (hopefully those who are DTF). But not all of the ladies have the full package of both beautiful faces and bodies.
Example: "Do we have a butterface flavor or what?" Vinny quips.
cabs are here (exc.)—the exclamatory phrase used to declare the arrival of one's already paid for designated driver, who will likely provide transportation to b.e.d., Klutch, and on special occasions, Space
Because this cast of seven (formerly eight) would never sacrifice one of their own as a designated driver for the evening, each night, they phone a taxi company to shuttle them back and forth to their nightclub of choice. While this has caused many a hilarious moment with The Situation spelling out his name to the dispatcher, upon the cabs' arrival, Pauly D typically shouts forcefully, "Cabs are here!" and the phrase has even spawned some MTV apparel.
checkers (n.)—a board game played between two players, each using 12 pieces of opposing colors, which is not a typical late night/early morning activity nor a euphemism for sexual relations (a.k.a. smushing)
When The Situation discovers his conquest from a club one night is not going to get down and dirty, he is disappointed about his lack of play.
Example: The Situation: "Don't come over somebody's house at f-----' 5 a.m. expect to play checkers." Thwarted Conquest: "I never said anything about checkers, old man!"
chicken cutlet (n.)—a silicone insert placed into one's bra to create the illusion of larger breasts. The name derives from the device's appearance, which is similar to a raw piece of boneless chicken.
While the first season of Jersey Shore introduced us to the concept of "chicken cutlet night"— which one is excluded from after refusing to clean up a feast of Italian delicacies—Season 2 followed up with a new kind of cutlet. After bringing home some grenades and landmines from the club, the boys bring their ladies into the likely STD-infested hot tub, where a foreign object is discovered. One of the girls' bra inserts pops out and Vinny, The Situation, and Pauly D decide the best use for the "chicken cutlet" would be to play catch with it.
Example: "I've never seen that before, you know? It looks like a chicken cutlet. Yo! Put that on the grill."—Pauly D shouts as he gives it a toss to The Situation
Cockblock of the Century (n.)—one who is legendary for preventing his or her male roommates from succeeding over his sexual conquests (see also, Staten Island Dump, The Instigation)
Angelina, the self-proclaimed Kim Kardashian of Staten Island, is known not just for packing her belongings in garbage bags during the show's first season, but also for "cockblocking" The Situation and Pauly D when they are "creepin'" on girls while the housemates are all out at a club. Her reputation does not dissipate in the show's second season when the powers of the Miami heat and alcoholic beverages combine.
Example: "Just a little bit of alcohol, and throughout the night it's worse and worse and worse, until, voilà… Mrs. Cockblock of the Century comes out and that's who she truly is." —The Situation explains of Angelina
community smush room (n.)—a chamber specifically reserved for the act of "smushing;" full-size bed included. For sanitary reasons, this area is best cleaned after a 20-smush turnover, while wearing see-through garbage bags secured with duct tape.
Example: "The f---ing smush room is nasty. The boys f--- in there… like different girls at the same time. It's disgusting."—Snooki
cookie (n.)—a synonym for a girl
Example: "He needs to give up his cookie [Sam] so he can find another one. I'm eating chocolate chip cookies every night, dawg." —The Situation on Ronnie's situation with his roommate-turned-girlfriend Sammi
do you (v.)—to take care of one's own business and not integrate his or herself into the business of others
In the midst of yet another fight between Sammi and Ronnie, the idea of "doing" themselves seems to come up a lot—and no, it doesn't mean what you think.
Example: "Do you, bro." —Sammi to Ronnie
done (adj.)—the state of a relationship when one or both parties verbally claims to cease attempts to work out any outstanding issues between the partners
Simple as this term may seem, in the case of Sammi and Ronnie, "done" never means "done." The only thing Sammi says more than "Ron, stop" is "I'm done." Yet, as we head into the finale of Season 2, the two are still together. Is it time to stick a fork in her yet?
Example: "No, we're like done."—Sammi
double bagger (n.)—not to be confused with the ineffective approach of wearing two condoms, this refers to an unattractive partner who is so unappealing, one must put a bag over both the partner's head as well as his or her own.
The term has nothing to do with any sort of asphyxiation fetish, but rather one's desire to ensure he or she is only looking at his or her sexual partner's body during a smush fest, as opposed to his or her face.
Example: "Sometimes you gotta put a bag over your head, in case her bag falls off"—Ronnie's friend
DTF (adj.)—ready, willing, and able to have sex. Literally, "down to f---." (see also, DTS)
Example: The Situation: "So, we have two girls on the burner. We can get the original chicks, which are DTF, or we can get the blond ones." Pauly D: "Ask them if they're DTF though. Don't waste no time today. It's Saturday."
DTS (adj.)—ready, willing, and able to cuddle. Literally, "down to snuggle." Not to be confused with "down the Shore." (see also, DTF)
Example: "This year I'm a little more DTS… down to snuggle with Snooki. If she wants to come in my bed and throw it at me, then I'm gonna take it."—Vinny
earrings (n. pl.)—an ornamental item of jewelry for one's ear lobes that must be removed before a physical altercation with a roommate, typically one who identifies herself as the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island (see also, nails)
Like Lady Gaga and Ke$ha before her, Snooki may not be a fan of pants, but she is never one to skimp on accessories. But after the conflict with Angelina reached its peak in Season 2, the tiniest Jersey Shore cast mate could no longer keep her nail wraps to herself. The hair pulling and pouf ruining that proceeded after Snooki removed her giant hoop earrings was one of the biggest girl-on-girl brawls in MTV's history.
Example: "Okay. Hold my earrings, please."—Snooki before lunging at Angelina
Fossil watch (n.)—since it was founded in 1984, before the world was blessed with Angelina's presence, Fossil, Inc. has primarily produced timepieces, enabling people not only to tell time, but to also give gifts in an anticipated exchange for sexual favors
Angelina had her eye on many men and some women this season, but none were quite as persistent as Jose. She teased him along without doing much smushing, but one gift nearly forced her to get down to business. He showed up to Lecca Lecca wearing a suit and holding a coveted white Fossil watch from Macy's. "He definitely earned points. One, because he looks so hot right now, and two, because he brought me a present," she said. "It was really thoughtful of him." Though not thoughtful enough—he did spend the night, but Angelina still kept her pants on.
Example: "He bought her a Fossil watch. I don't know how much it was…$39.99, $49.99—but the man should be smushed."—The Situation on Jose's gift to Angelina
frolic (v.)— to perform a style of dance, popular amongst the Tri-State area guido set, best exhibited when accompanied by house music, in which the artiste moves his or her feet in wide strides from side to side. Warning: Should exercise caution when combined with the fist pump. (see also, big sense of humor)
In addition to love of laughter and pickles, "frolics" is another characteristic required on Snooki's checklist for finding the ultimate juicehead.
Example: See Snooki, JWoww, and Snooki's friend Ryder exhibit the iconic guido frolic in a recent episode of Season 2 at the 33 minute mark.
FTD (adj.)—the acronym for "fresh to death"
As previously explained, "fresh to death" is Pauly D's reference to his style of being and having the hottest of the hot and trendiest of the trendy. This typically translates to a blowout and an Ed Hardy t-shirt.
Example: "You need to be on your tip-top game with your GTL to stay FTD to get the girls to be DTF in MIA."—The Situation
get it in (v.)—to smush a partner who is not ideal for a relationship, but is DTF
One may anatomically assume that this term is used only by the men of Jersey Shore cast. Think again. From The Situation to Snooki to Pauly D, "getting it in" is a phrase that does not discriminate by gender.
Example: "I was nice enough to bring two. At least entertain the chick or something so I can get it in."—Pauly D on The Situation sending home his non-DTF conquest.
GFF (n.)—the Grenade Free Foundation is an organization established to keep grenades (i.e. unattractive women) at bay in order to reach its ultimate goal of a GFA (Grenade Free America)
The cause has caught fire amongst many, with the Facebook group for "GFA—Grenade Free America" counting more than 1,600 members amongst its beautiful community.
Example: "We are the most valuable players in MIA, supporting the GFF!"—Vinny
grenade grundle chode (n.)—the least attractive male in a group of friends
After her roll in the sheets keeps JWoww up at night, the Smuf-sized Snooki promises her friend she'll find her some eye candy who is over six feet. When the object of Snooki's desire, Dennis, arrives with his friend, Marco, however, the height requirement is the only thing he has working for him. JWoww isn't pleased and even Snooki must admit that Marco is no gorilla—in the bad way.
Example: "Marco is a grenade grundle chode."—Snooki
GTF (v.)—gym, tan, find out who wrote the note (see also, GTS)
JWoww and Snooki planted a notorious anonymous note into Sammi's drawer explaining what Ronnie had been doing with other girls behind her back. Sam, however, does not appreciate the gesture and is determined to figure out who was behind the typed out letter. The boys in the house are curious of its origins as well—so much so, in fact, they decide to alter their usual GTL (gym, tan, laundry) routine.
Example: "Gym, Tan, Find out who wrote the note."—Vinny
GTS (v.)—gym, tan, smush (see also, GTF)
Unfortunately, that "s" does not stand for shower. The act of going to the gym and tanning are both the most important and versatile of one's daily agenda because every other activity can accompany them, as long as it follows directly after. Sammi sarcastically suggests Ronnie leave the laundry off his checklist during the series' second season premiere and that he find a new girl to smush instead.
Example: "Gym Tan Smush, huh?"—Sammi
herpe (n.)—a single cold sore that can tarnish a good time with its presence
In June, Jersey Shore creator Sally Ann Salano made the cast of her hit show out to be a walking Valtrex ad. "We hand it out like M&Ms," she said of the herpes medication. "It's like a herpes nest. They're all mixing it up." Seemingly, some of the cast members learned how to spot the STD, which appears to be quite the downer.
Example: "Nothing like a nice herpe to ruin the party."—Pauly D of a female beachgoer attempting to strike up conversation
hyena (n.)—a sexually aggressive young woman who lacks facial beauty
When one evening of creeping turned the hot tub into a zoo, The Situation was lucky enough to splash some likely contaminated water on his face and realize he was swimming with some animals. Unfortunately for Pauly D, the beer goggles did not come off.
Example: "One of the hyenas hypnotized him and he didn't see up close what was going on."—The Situation on Pauly D
if you have to think about it… (phrase)—the notion that if one believes an apparent women is transsexual or transgendered, she probably is
Example: "She's got all the clues that lead me to believe she's a man. She's got something to hide that Adam's apple, she has something on her hands… If you have to think about it… If you even have to hesitate to think… It's a tranny."—Pauly D
IFF (n.)—I'm F---ed Foundation (see also, note)
The charitable Jersey Shore cast was eager to create as many foundations as possible this season. The IFF, however, is not exactly an organization to be proud of. The male housemates created the group in honor (shame?) of Ronnie's inevitable downfall after fooling around behind Sam's back. The IFF quickly disintegrated thanks to modern technology when Snooki and JWoww wrote an anonymous note to Sammi explaining who Ronnie f---ed and subsequently, f---ed him over.
Example: "Ronnie's new nickname now is IFF. IFF is the I'm F---ed Foundation. He's a client and the president."—Pauly D
The Instigation (n.)—a spin-off of The Situation, references one who sets problems into motion (see also, Cockblock of the Century, Staten Island Dump)
After Angelina both hits on and hits one of her fellow housemates, the roommates have seemingly had enough of her "drama" and decide that the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island is not a fitting nickname.
Example: "They should call you The Instigation."—Pauly D to Angelina
Klutch (n.)—a nightclub in Miami, Florida that is typically grenade free (see also, b.e.d., Space)
It may not be Karma from Seaside Heights, but the Jersey Shore cast found their second home in this Miami club that they frequented in search of SoCo, fresh beats, and potential hook-ups.
Example: "When you left crying at Klutch, Ron was holding hands and dancing with a female and took down her number."—The Note
kookah (n.)—a euphemism for female genitalia
What the ladies of The Real Housewives of New Jersey call a "chucky," the Jersey Shore roommates refer to as a kookah. The Snooki-coined colloquialism for a female's nether regions was introduced after Pauly D attempted to wake up the smallest cast member in time for her manicure appointment and accidentally (or so he claims) exposed her kookah. Later, she and JWoww lamented over intimate injuries.
Example: "I ran into a house. I was like, 'Boom.' I was like, 'My kookah!' I thought I broke my vagina bone. It's terrible."—Snooki
lesbian rate (n.)- the tendency of women to date other women due to a lack of quality men
After Snooki's boyfriend Emilio calls to tell her he's slept with another woman, she begins to philosophize about whyLindsay Lohan (and now reportedly Christina Aguilera) found themselves with Samantha Ronson.
Example: "Guys are douchebags and I hate them all. They don't know how to deal with women, and I feel that's why the lesbian rate is going up in this country."—Snooki
loosey goose (n.)—a woman who has let many people get it in (see also, get it in, DTF)
One woman's trash is another's treasure—particularly when it comes to a well-endowed roommate like Vinny. Snooki's hook-up with him may have been a bit mismatched, but Angelina had no problem handling Vinny, which her predecessor hypothesizes is due to extensive previous experience.
Example: "You had my sloppy seconds. Good for you. And obviously you're loosey goosey because he got it in."—Snooki to Angelina
MVP (n.)—another organization which stands not only for Most Valuable Players, but Mike (The Situation), Vinny, and Pauly
The three amigos pride themselves on this amazing acronym discovery, which fully allows them to relish in their bro-ness.
Example: "This is MVP night, Mike, Vinny, Pauly—not to be confused with Nissan, Honda, Chevy—straight up. I'm not playin' around. No bulls---. We're like the wife beater gang."—Pauly
nails (n.)—the cosmetic process in which one's fingernails are professionally treated; also, an excuse to stay home from your job (see also, earrings)
Keeping up with one's nails is a high priority for a guidette and keeping up the thick, square French manicured tips (even in an unknown city like Miami) is of the utmost importance. A physical brawl between JWoww and Sammi leads to some serious damage and Pauly D notes the wreckage. "There's hair extensions, there's fingernails," he observes. And the latter does not sit well with JWoww, who knows what she must do to write these wrongs.
Example: "I will not be attending work today because I have to get my nails done."—JWoww to her boss at Lecca Lecca
note (n.)—an explicit, typed letter anonymously delivered to your friend to inform him or her of his or her significant other's infidelity
The guilt of knowing what Ron has been doing behind Sammi's back was eating away at her best friends, Snooki and JWoww. But because they don't want to cause any friction amongst the roommates, they decide the best way to inform her would be to type up a note (Kanye West-style in all caps) at an Internet café. They "wisely" change the word "tits" to "breasts" so as not to give themselves away and decide against a pink font as well. After they're done, they fold up the letter and slip it into her drawer, awaiting the chaos that ensues.
Example: "I found this note. This note pretty much told me that Ron gets with fat chicks, hooks up with girls, holds hands with girls, got a girl's number."—Sammi
Nutella (n.)—a hazelnut spread best eaten while your roommate smushes a Canadian because it is made in Canada
When The Situation brings home a Canadian who is more than DTF, the cast mates gather outside the community smush room with snacks for their listening party, including some of this delicious spreadable delicacy. "Yo! Canadian! Did you know that you make Nutella?" Vinny shouts as The Situation's partner moans.
Example: "Yo, let's get into this Nutella, pimp."- Vinny
original guido (OG) (n.)—an Italian American middle-aged man who uses his English-as-a-second-language quality to charm his way into a hot tub with younger guidettes
Vinny's Uncle Nino is the type of guido they don't make anymore. He may not have the best linguistic skills, but he expresses himself with his stereotypically unbuttoned shirt, hairless chest, and shiny gold cross. When he comes to visit Vinny in Miami, Uncle Nino is immediately taken by the Jersey Shore friends his nephew has made, whom he affectionately refers to as "Pauly Spike," "Mike Sanitation," and "my J. Lo."
Example: "Uncle Nino is an OG, an original guido."—Pauly D
pajamas (n. pl.)—nighttime attire that one slips into after a night out at the club, indicating that one is ready for some smushing
The Situation has an infatuation with picking out attire for his sexual conquests to sleep in, despite the fact that he has full intentions of taking those clothes off her. In one instance, he even had his smushing associate choose her PJ's before they went out—a notion that excited him to no end.
Example: "I always have a good time when I go out to the clubs…but in the back of my mind I'm thinking,' 'I got a girl here, I got pajamas picked out already…this girl wants to bang me! I wanna go back to the crib.'"—The Situation
red joints (n. pl.)—a pair of new crimson colored sneakers—purchased to maintain fresh-to-deathness—which typically indicate a positive evening ahead (see also, t-shirt time)
Example: "I might do it! I might do it! I bust out the red joints! That's how you know it's gonna be a good night."—Pauly D
Ron watch (n.)—the role and responsibility of monitoring Ronnie, who, while drunk, seems to lose control
Example: "Who's on Ron watch tonight?"—Pauly D
sangwich (n.)—another pronunciation of sandwich, typically used by Pauly D, which refers to two pieces of bread and the filling of one's choice; in some situations, it can serve as an indication of a world war
Example: "There's a tuna fish sangwich on the ground. It's like World War III went down last night. It's crazy!"- Pauly D
shirt before the shirt (n.)—the wife beater one wears after he showers, but before he goes out to the club that allows him to lounge comfortably without sullying his fresh t-shirt
Example: "I got the fresh kicks, I got some jeans, I got the shirt. But I ain't wearin' the shirt when we go out. This is the shirt before the shirt."—The Situation
Sicilian hair (n.)—a thick mane atop the head of one who personally hails or whose ancestors hail from Sicily. These tresses cannot be maintained by any barber and need special attention.
When Vinny realizes he hasn't had his hair cut since his Miami migration, he seeks out a skilled hairdresser who can tame his thick mane. "The only thing I can do with it is get a tape up and a fade," he explains of his options, neither of which I understand. "If I don't have that, that's like saying you have to go out without putting gel in your hair." (The horror!) Vinny finds himself in the "hood" of Miami because that's where, "they know how to do it!" (Cue Barbershopcrossover spin-off)
Example: "I have thick, thick Sicilian hair...If someone can cut a black person's hair they can usually cut my hair."—Vinny
Space (n.)- a nightclub in Miami, Florida, ideal for gorilla hunting (see also, b.e.d., Klutch)
This club is also the perfect establishment to wear a fishnet hot pink and black two-piece ensemble appropriate to work a pole. "So Jenni comes out in her outfit and I'm like, 'This girl's a f-----' whore,'" Snooki says. "But that's why I love her… she looks like the ultimate stripper and she's very hot."
Example: "Space means like guidos, juicehead gorillas, sexy, tan, sweaty boys... and house music."—Snooki
Staten Island Dump (n.)—a nickname for Angelina; a synonym of Staten Island Ferry (see also, Cockblock of the Century, The Instigation)
When you carry your belongings in trash bags and hail from the widely-touted armpit of America, you're asking for the dirtiest of nicknames, and Angelina's Jersey Shore cast mates were quick to offer up suggestions.
Example: "Standing in one corner…4'9", two inches with the pouf—Snooki Polizzi. Standing in the other corner, at 322 lbs, the Staten Island Dump."—Ronnie narrates before Snooki and Angelina's altercation. "Angelina is just like the Staten Island Ferry. Everybody gets a ride and it's free!"—The Situation
steaming Alpo (n.)—premium, smoking hot dog food that one metaphorically serves to the significant other he/she is cheating on (see also, note, IFF)
Example: "Ronnie is serving up steaming Alpo on a plate to her because he's doggin' Sam so much."—The Situation
summer teeth (n.)—what one's mouth features when his/her dentition is not aligned, leading "some" to be a different way from the others
Example: "She had summer teeth. Some are like this and some are like that."—Pauly D
sunglasses (n.)—the perfect accessory to protect one's eyes from UV rays, strobe lights at a club, and infection in a hot tub
Because the Jersey Shore cast is rarely awake before sunset, but they must maintain their street cred, they often don sunglasses at night. From Vinny's aviators to Snooki's diamond-encrusted pair, they can't seem to take off their shades in any and all locales.
Example: "The glasses are pretty much all crystaled-out, all bling-bling…If I get pulled over, I'm gonna get in trouble today 'cause, well, when you put them on, you can't really see, so I don't think you can drive with them because you'll get a ticket."—Snooki
Example: "I don't like tests. That's why I didn't go to college. Don't test me. Cause I will fail the majority of the time."—Ronnie on Sam's claim that she's "testing" him
t-shirt time(n.)—the point in the evening during which a guido changes from his wife-beater tank top (aka "the shirt before the shirt") into his (ideally Ed Hardy-esque) top for the night right before it's time to leave to hit the club
This stage of the evening is so pivotal for the male cast members of Jersey Shore that they eventually gave "t-shirt time" its own operatic tune.
Example: "Angelina just got into a fight with Mike before t-shirt time."—Vinny. "Hopefully, they don't get into another fight and she'll punch Mike in the face before t-shirt time."—Pauly D
tyrannosaurus rex arms (n. pl.)—appendages that are relatively small for one's size, akin to those of the extinct carnivorous dinosaur (see also, earrings)
As Ronnie observes his roommate Snooki engaging in guidette warfare against Angelina, he notices her prowess and brute force, despite her undersized limbs.
Example: "She's so tiny. Her arms are like tyrannosaurus rex arms."—Ronnie on Snooki
the unthinkable (n.)—the act of having sex with someone who is under five feet tall, has orange skin, and goes by the name "Snooki"
When a drunken evening turns into a roommate-on-roommate smushfest, Vinny has morning after regrets about going where one would imagine few men have gone before.
Example: "Dude, what the f--- did I do last night? I'm like, 'Did I bang Snooki last night? Did I do the unthinkable?'"—Vinny
wake-up-the-whole-entire-house time (n.)—the point of the day in which one roommate awakens the rest of his cohabitants by serenading them with song, pulling on covers, and stomping loudly
In a "cabs are here"-inspired moment, Pauly D personally awakens each and every roommate both aurally and physically. With his mock barber-shop-quartet-like voice, the shirtless Pauly stomps through the cast's Miami home and croons a tune unofficially titled, "Wake Up the Whole Entire House Time."
Example: "It's wake-up-the-whole-entire-house time… Oh yeah. Wake up yeah."—Pauly D
a watermelon and a pinhole (n.)—a metaphor used to describe the anatomical impossibility of Vinny "getting it in" Snooki (see also, DTF, DTS)
After playing Goldilocks to discover which male roommate's bed is coziest, Snooki finds herself under Vinny's covers. But a DTS session leads to something a bit more along the DTF lines and the two are soon crossing some boundaries, as Snooki confesses to Sam the next day.
Example: "Sam, you have no idea how big this thing was…It was like putting like a watermelon into a pinhole."—Snooki on sex with Vinny
wisely (adv.)—a word that gives away one's intellectual credibility when used in an anonymous note…perhaps unwisely (see also, note)
The mystery surrounding who wrote the dreaded note was not exactly difficult for Ronnie to decipher. The hotheaded roommate used his advanced vocabulary to crack the code, coming to the conclusion that Snooki (or Shnooki, as he calls her) couldn't possibly have penned the note because of the impressive usage of the term "wisely."
Example: "Right away I know it's either Shnooki or Jenny, but then I read the letter and I see the word 'wisely' and I know Shnooki doesn't use that kind of vocabulary."—Ronnie
Yodels (n. pl.)—a Drake's pre-packaged dessert treat, inexplicably ideally consumed after a hearty Italian meal, accompanied by milk
Vinny's mom is a serious cook, as the show's first season exhibited. And she made the trek down to Miami to whip up an epic Italian meal yet again for the show's sophomore season. The cast feasted on a massive spread of pasta, meatballs, sausage, and cold cuts. And for dessert? A pre-packaged, chocolate frosted cream-filled cake made by the Drake's company…with tall glasses of milk, of course.
Example: "We got milk and we got Yodels."—Vinny
youse (n. pl.)—a group of people
In a Sopranos-inspired moment before her departure from the series (for the second time), Angelina decided her roommates were no longer worthy of being named individually and instead, went with the collective "youse," popularized in the Northeastern United States. That's how we know she was serious about leaving—that and the volume of her voice combined with her packed suitcases.
Example: "All of youse in this house are f----- fake. And I want you all to know that I can't stand any of youse."—Angelina