Friday, October 22, 2010

Decoding MTV's Jersey Shore - Part Deux

Ok if you are like me you've probably have gotten somewhat addicted to the crazy that is The Jersey Shore. If you are watching and you just find yourself asking "WTF?!" whenever someone speaks, perhaps this guide to decoding The Jersey Shore can help you out.

b.e.d. (n.)—a nightclub in Miami, Florida, which stands for "beverage.entertainment.dining" (see also, Klutch, Space)

The cast of Jersey Shore loves few things more than a three-letter acronym (i.e. "GTL, baby!"). It's no wonder then, that during one of their first nights in the MIA (not the rapper or the airport, but rather, the city of Miami, where season two took place), Snooki, JWoww, Sammi, The Situation, Pauly D, Vinny, Angelina, and Ronnie made their way to this hot spot. But what happens at b.e.d., doesn't necessarily remain under the covers—as Sammi soon discovered thanks to a not-so-anonymous, but incredibly infamous note.

Example: "The first night at b.e.d., when you left, Ron made out with 2 girls and put his head in between a cocktail waitresses breasts." —The Note

big sense of humor (n.)—a large quantity of the ability to laugh and/or to make another laugh. Also, an important quality in a juice head and/or gorilla. (see also, frolic)


While bored at her place of work, Lecca Lecca Gelato Caffe, Snooki decided to come up with a checklist of her "idea" (as JWoww says) characteristics in a man. Of the approximately 20 qualities—which ran the gamut from the physical ("tan") to the culinary ("likes pickles")—one of her most meaningful was "big sense of humor."

butterface flavor (n.)—a nonexistent variety of gelato to describe a girl who frequents the ice cream parlor and manages to maintain her figure, "but her face" does not exactly induce the "yum" factor

Working at Lecca Lecca has its perks for Pauly D and Vinny, who use their position to pick up girls (hopefully those who are DTF). But not all of the ladies have the full package of both beautiful faces and bodies.

Example: "Do we have a butterface flavor or what?" Vinny quips.

cabs are here (exc.)—the exclamatory phrase used to declare the arrival of one's already paid for designated driver, who will likely provide transportation to b.e.d., Klutch, and on special occasions, Space

Because this cast of seven (formerly eight) would never sacrifice one of their own as a designated driver for the evening, each night, they phone a taxi company to shuttle them back and forth to their nightclub of choice. While this has caused many a hilarious moment with The Situation spelling out his name to the dispatcher, upon the cabs' arrival, Pauly D typically shouts forcefully, "Cabs are here!" and the phrase has even spawned some MTV apparel.

checkers (n.)—a board game played between two players, each using 12 pieces of opposing colors, which is not a typical late night/early morning activity nor a euphemism for sexual relations (a.k.a. smushing)

When The Situation discovers his conquest from a club one night is not going to get down and dirty, he is disappointed about his lack of play.

Example: The Situation: "Don't come over somebody's house at f-----' 5 a.m. expect to play checkers." Thwarted Conquest: "I never said anything about checkers, old man!"

chicken cutlet (n.)—a silicone insert placed into one's bra to create the illusion of larger breasts. The name derives from the device's appearance, which is similar to a raw piece of boneless chicken.

While the first season of Jersey Shore introduced us to the concept of "chicken cutlet night"— which one is excluded from after refusing to clean up a feast of Italian delicacies—Season 2 followed up with a new kind of cutlet. After bringing home some grenades and landmines from the club, the boys bring their ladies into the likely STD-infested hot tub, where a foreign object is discovered. One of the girls' bra inserts pops out and Vinny, The Situation, and Pauly D decide the best use for the "chicken cutlet" would be to play catch with it.

Example: "I've never seen that before, you know? It looks like a chicken cutlet. Yo! Put that on the grill."—Pauly D shouts as he gives it a toss to The Situation

Cockblock of the Century (n.)—one who is legendary for preventing his or her male roommates from succeeding over his sexual conquests (see also, Staten Island Dump, The Instigation)

Angelina, the self-proclaimed Kim Kardashian of Staten Island, is known not just for packing her belongings in garbage bags during the show's first season, but also for "cockblocking" The Situation and Pauly D when they are "creepin'" on girls while the housemates are all out at a club. Her reputation does not dissipate in the show's second season when the powers of the Miami heat and alcoholic beverages combine.

Example: "Just a little bit of alcohol, and throughout the night it's worse and worse and worse, until, voilĂ … Mrs. Cockblock of the Century comes out and that's who she truly is." —The Situation explains of Angelina

community smush room (n.)—a chamber specifically reserved for the act of "smushing;" full-size bed included. For sanitary reasons, this area is best cleaned after a 20-smush turnover, while wearing see-through garbage bags secured with duct tape.

Example: "The f---ing smush room is nasty. The boys f--- in there… like different girls at the same time. It's disgusting."—Snooki

cookie (n.)—a synonym for a girl

Example: "He needs to give up his cookie [Sam] so he can find another one. I'm eating chocolate chip cookies every night, dawg." —The Situation on Ronnie's situation with his roommate-turned-girlfriend Sammi

do you (v.)—to take care of one's own business and not integrate his or herself into the business of others

In the midst of yet another fight between Sammi and Ronnie, the idea of "doing" themselves seems to come up a lot—and no, it doesn't mean what you think.

Example: "Do you, bro." —Sammi to Ronnie

done (adj.)—the state of a relationship when one or both parties verbally claims to cease attempts to work out any outstanding issues between the partners

Simple as this term may seem, in the case of Sammi and Ronnie, "done" never means "done." The only thing Sammi says more than "Ron, stop" is "I'm done." Yet, as we head into the finale of Season 2, the two are still together. Is it time to stick a fork in her yet?

Example: "No, we're like done."—Sammi

double bagger (n.)—not to be confused with the ineffective approach of wearing two condoms, this refers to an unattractive partner who is so unappealing, one must put a bag over both the partner's head as well as his or her own.

The term has nothing to do with any sort of asphyxiation fetish, but rather one's desire to ensure he or she is only looking at his or her sexual partner's body during a smush fest, as opposed to his or her face.

Example: "Sometimes you gotta put a bag over your head, in case her bag falls off"—Ronnie's friend

DTF (adj.)—ready, willing, and able to have sex. Literally, "down to f---." (see also, DTS)

Example: The Situation: "So, we have two girls on the burner. We can get the original chicks, which are DTF, or we can get the blond ones." Pauly D: "Ask them if they're DTF though. Don't waste no time today. It's Saturday."

DTS (adj.)—ready, willing, and able to cuddle. Literally, "down to snuggle." Not to be confused with "down the Shore." (see also, DTF)

Example: "This year I'm a little more DTS… down to snuggle with Snooki. If she wants to come in my bed and throw it at me, then I'm gonna take it."—Vinny

earrings (n. pl.)—an ornamental item of jewelry for one's ear lobes that must be removed before a physical altercation with a roommate, typically one who identifies herself as the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island (see also, nails)

Like Lady Gaga and Ke$ha before her, Snooki may not be a fan of pants, but she is never one to skimp on accessories. But after the conflict with Angelina reached its peak in Season 2, the tiniest Jersey Shore cast mate could no longer keep her nail wraps to herself. The hair pulling and pouf ruining that proceeded after Snooki removed her giant hoop earrings was one of the biggest girl-on-girl brawls in MTV's history.

Example: "Okay. Hold my earrings, please."—Snooki before lunging at Angelina

Fossil watch (n.)—since it was founded in 1984, before the world was blessed with Angelina's presence, Fossil, Inc. has primarily produced timepieces, enabling people not only to tell time, but to also give gifts in an anticipated exchange for sexual favors

Angelina had her eye on many men and some women this season, but none were quite as persistent as Jose. She teased him along without doing much smushing, but one gift nearly forced her to get down to business. He showed up to Lecca Lecca wearing a suit and holding a coveted white Fossil watch from Macy's. "He definitely earned points. One, because he looks so hot right now, and two, because he brought me a present," she said. "It was really thoughtful of him." Though not thoughtful enough—he did spend the night, but Angelina still kept her pants on.

Example: "He bought her a Fossil watch. I don't know how much it was…$39.99, $49.99—but the man should be smushed."—The Situation on Jose's gift to Angelina

frolic (v.)— to perform a style of dance, popular amongst the Tri-State area guido set, best exhibited when accompanied by house music, in which the artiste moves his or her feet in wide strides from side to side. Warning: Should exercise caution when combined with the fist pump. (see also, big sense of humor)

In addition to love of laughter and pickles, "frolics" is another characteristic required on Snooki's checklist for finding the ultimate juicehead.

Example: See Snooki, JWoww, and Snooki's friend Ryder exhibit the iconic guido frolic in a recent episode of Season 2 at the 33 minute mark.

FTD (adj.)—the acronym for "fresh to death"

As previously explained, "fresh to death" is Pauly D's reference to his style of being and having the hottest of the hot and trendiest of the trendy. This typically translates to a blowout and an Ed Hardy t-shirt.

Example: "You need to be on your tip-top game with your GTL to stay FTD to get the girls to be DTF in MIA."—The Situation

get it in (v.)—to smush a partner who is not ideal for a relationship, but is DTF

One may anatomically assume that this term is used only by the men of Jersey Shore cast. Think again. From The Situation to Snooki to Pauly D, "getting it in" is a phrase that does not discriminate by gender.

Example: "I was nice enough to bring two. At least entertain the chick or something so I can get it in."—Pauly D on The Situation sending home his non-DTF conquest.

GFF (n.)—the Grenade Free Foundation is an organization established to keep grenades (i.e. unattractive women) at bay in order to reach its ultimate goal of a GFA (Grenade Free America)

The cause has caught fire amongst many, with the Facebook group for "GFA—Grenade Free America" counting more than 1,600 members amongst its beautiful community.

Example: "We are the most valuable players in MIA, supporting the GFF!"—Vinny

grenade grundle chode (n.)—the least attractive male in a group of friends

After her roll in the sheets keeps JWoww up at night, the Smuf-sized Snooki promises her friend she'll find her some eye candy who is over six feet. When the object of Snooki's desire, Dennis, arrives with his friend, Marco, however, the height requirement is the only thing he has working for him. JWoww isn't pleased and even Snooki must admit that Marco is no gorilla—in the bad way.

Example: "Marco is a grenade grundle chode."—Snooki

GTF (v.)—gym, tan, find out who wrote the note (see also, GTS)

JWoww and Snooki planted a notorious anonymous note into Sammi's drawer explaining what Ronnie had been doing with other girls behind her back. Sam, however, does not appreciate the gesture and is determined to figure out who was behind the typed out letter. The boys in the house are curious of its origins as well—so much so, in fact, they decide to alter their usual GTL (gym, tan, laundry) routine.

Example: "Gym, Tan, Find out who wrote the note."—Vinny

GTS (v.)—gym, tan, smush (see also, GTF)

Unfortunately, that "s" does not stand for shower. The act of going to the gym and tanning are both the most important and versatile of one's daily agenda because every other activity can accompany them, as long as it follows directly after. Sammi sarcastically suggests Ronnie leave the laundry off his checklist during the series' second season premiere and that he find a new girl to smush instead.

Example: "Gym Tan Smush, huh?"—Sammi

herpe (n.)—a single cold sore that can tarnish a good time with its presence

In June, Jersey Shore creator Sally Ann Salano made the cast of her hit show out to be a walking Valtrex ad. "We hand it out like M&Ms," she said of the herpes medication. "It's like a herpes nest. They're all mixing it up." Seemingly, some of the cast members learned how to spot the STD, which appears to be quite the downer.

Example: "Nothing like a nice herpe to ruin the party."—Pauly D of a female beachgoer attempting to strike up conversation

hyena (n.)—a sexually aggressive young woman who lacks facial beauty

When one evening of creeping turned the hot tub into a zoo, The Situation was lucky enough to splash some likely contaminated water on his face and realize he was swimming with some animals. Unfortunately for Pauly D, the beer goggles did not come off.

Example: "One of the hyenas hypnotized him and he didn't see up close what was going on."—The Situation on Pauly D

if you have to think about it… (phrase)—the notion that if one believes an apparent women is transsexual or transgendered, she probably is

Example: "She's got all the clues that lead me to believe she's a man. She's got something to hide that Adam's apple, she has something on her hands… If you have to think about it… If you even have to hesitate to think… It's a tranny."—Pauly D

IFF (n.)—I'm F---ed Foundation (see also, note)

The charitable Jersey Shore cast was eager to create as many foundations as possible this season. The IFF, however, is not exactly an organization to be proud of. The male housemates created the group in honor (shame?) of Ronnie's inevitable downfall after fooling around behind Sam's back. The IFF quickly disintegrated thanks to modern technology when Snooki and JWoww wrote an anonymous note to Sammi explaining who Ronnie f---ed and subsequently, f---ed him over.

Example: "Ronnie's new nickname now is IFF. IFF is the I'm F---ed Foundation. He's a client and the president."—Pauly D

The Instigation (n.)—a spin-off of The Situation, references one who sets problems into motion (see also, Cockblock of the Century, Staten Island Dump)

After Angelina both hits on and hits one of her fellow housemates, the roommates have seemingly had enough of her "drama" and decide that the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island is not a fitting nickname.

Example: "They should call you The Instigation."—Pauly D to Angelina

Klutch (n.)—a nightclub in Miami, Florida that is typically grenade free (see also, b.e.d., Space)

It may not be Karma from Seaside Heights, but the Jersey Shore cast found their second home in this Miami club that they frequented in search of SoCo, fresh beats, and potential hook-ups.

Example: "When you left crying at Klutch, Ron was holding hands and dancing with a female and took down her number."—The Note

kookah (n.)—a euphemism for female genitalia

What the ladies of The Real Housewives of New Jersey call a "chucky," the Jersey Shore roommates refer to as a kookah. The Snooki-coined colloquialism for a female's nether regions was introduced after Pauly D attempted to wake up the smallest cast member in time for her manicure appointment and accidentally (or so he claims) exposed her kookah. Later, she and JWoww lamented over intimate injuries.

Example: "I ran into a house. I was like, 'Boom.' I was like, 'My kookah!' I thought I broke my vagina bone. It's terrible."—Snooki

lesbian rate (n.)- the tendency of women to date other women due to a lack of quality men

After Snooki's boyfriend Emilio calls to tell her he's slept with another woman, she begins to philosophize about whyLindsay Lohan (and now reportedly Christina Aguilera) found themselves with Samantha Ronson.

Example: "Guys are douchebags and I hate them all. They don't know how to deal with women, and I feel that's why the lesbian rate is going up in this country."—Snooki

loosey goose (n.)—a woman who has let many people get it in (see also, get it in, DTF)

One woman's trash is another's treasure—particularly when it comes to a well-endowed roommate like Vinny. Snooki's hook-up with him may have been a bit mismatched, but Angelina had no problem handling Vinny, which her predecessor hypothesizes is due to extensive previous experience.

Example: "You had my sloppy seconds. Good for you. And obviously you're loosey goosey because he got it in."—Snooki to Angelina

MVP (n.)—another organization which stands not only for Most Valuable Players, but Mike (The Situation), Vinny, and Pauly

The three amigos pride themselves on this amazing acronym discovery, which fully allows them to relish in their bro-ness.

Example: "This is MVP night, Mike, Vinny, Pauly—not to be confused with Nissan, Honda, Chevy—straight up. I'm not playin' around. No bulls---. We're like the wife beater gang."—Pauly

nails (n.)—the cosmetic process in which one's fingernails are professionally treated; also, an excuse to stay home from your job (see also, earrings)

Keeping up with one's nails is a high priority for a guidette and keeping up the thick, square French manicured tips (even in an unknown city like Miami) is of the utmost importance. A physical brawl between JWoww and Sammi leads to some serious damage and Pauly D notes the wreckage. "There's hair extensions, there's fingernails," he observes. And the latter does not sit well with JWoww, who knows what she must do to write these wrongs.

Example: "I will not be attending work today because I have to get my nails done."—JWoww to her boss at Lecca Lecca

note (n.)—an explicit, typed letter anonymously delivered to your friend to inform him or her of his or her significant other's infidelity

The guilt of knowing what Ron has been doing behind Sammi's back was eating away at her best friends, Snooki and JWoww. But because they don't want to cause any friction amongst the roommates, they decide the best way to inform her would be to type up a note (Kanye West-style in all caps) at an Internet café. They "wisely" change the word "tits" to "breasts" so as not to give themselves away and decide against a pink font as well. After they're done, they fold up the letter and slip it into her drawer, awaiting the chaos that ensues.

Example: "I found this note. This note pretty much told me that Ron gets with fat chicks, hooks up with girls, holds hands with girls, got a girl's number."—Sammi

Nutella (n.)—a hazelnut spread best eaten while your roommate smushes a Canadian because it is made in Canada

When The Situation brings home a Canadian who is more than DTF, the cast mates gather outside the community smush room with snacks for their listening party, including some of this delicious spreadable delicacy. "Yo! Canadian! Did you know that you make Nutella?" Vinny shouts as The Situation's partner moans.

Example: "Yo, let's get into this Nutella, pimp."- Vinny

original guido (OG) (n.)—an Italian American middle-aged man who uses his English-as-a-second-language quality to charm his way into a hot tub with younger guidettes

Vinny's Uncle Nino is the type of guido they don't make anymore. He may not have the best linguistic skills, but he expresses himself with his stereotypically unbuttoned shirt, hairless chest, and shiny gold cross. When he comes to visit Vinny in Miami, Uncle Nino is immediately taken by the Jersey Shore friends his nephew has made, whom he affectionately refers to as "Pauly Spike," "Mike Sanitation," and "my J. Lo."

Example: "Uncle Nino is an OG, an original guido."—Pauly D

pajamas (n. pl.)—nighttime attire that one slips into after a night out at the club, indicating that one is ready for some smushing

The Situation has an infatuation with picking out attire for his sexual conquests to sleep in, despite the fact that he has full intentions of taking those clothes off her. In one instance, he even had his smushing associate choose her PJ's before they went out—a notion that excited him to no end.

Example: "I always have a good time when I go out to the clubs…but in the back of my mind I'm thinking,' 'I got a girl here, I got pajamas picked out already…this girl wants to bang me! I wanna go back to the crib.'"—The Situation

red joints (n. pl.)—a pair of new crimson colored sneakers—purchased to maintain fresh-to-deathness—which typically indicate a positive evening ahead (see also, t-shirt time)

Example: "I might do it! I might do it! I bust out the red joints! That's how you know it's gonna be a good night."—Pauly D

Ron watch (n.)—the role and responsibility of monitoring Ronnie, who, while drunk, seems to lose control

Example: "Who's on Ron watch tonight?"—Pauly D

sangwich (n.)—another pronunciation of sandwich, typically used by Pauly D, which refers to two pieces of bread and the filling of one's choice; in some situations, it can serve as an indication of a world war

Example: "There's a tuna fish sangwich on the ground. It's like World War III went down last night. It's crazy!"- Pauly D

shirt before the shirt (n.)—the wife beater one wears after he showers, but before he goes out to the club that allows him to lounge comfortably without sullying his fresh t-shirt

Example: "I got the fresh kicks, I got some jeans, I got the shirt. But I ain't wearin' the shirt when we go out. This is the shirt before the shirt."—The Situation

Sicilian hair (n.)—a thick mane atop the head of one who personally hails or whose ancestors hail from Sicily. These tresses cannot be maintained by any barber and need special attention.

When Vinny realizes he hasn't had his hair cut since his Miami migration, he seeks out a skilled hairdresser who can tame his thick mane. "The only thing I can do with it is get a tape up and a fade," he explains of his options, neither of which I understand. "If I don't have that, that's like saying you have to go out without putting gel in your hair." (The horror!) Vinny finds himself in the "hood" of Miami because that's where, "they know how to do it!" (Cue Barbershopcrossover spin-off)

Example: "I have thick, thick Sicilian hair...If someone can cut a black person's hair they can usually cut my hair."—Vinny

Space (n.)- a nightclub in Miami, Florida, ideal for gorilla hunting (see also, b.e.d., Klutch)

This club is also the perfect establishment to wear a fishnet hot pink and black two-piece ensemble appropriate to work a pole. "So Jenni comes out in her outfit and I'm like, 'This girl's a f-----' whore,'" Snooki says. "But that's why I love her… she looks like the ultimate stripper and she's very hot."

Example: "Space means like guidos, juicehead gorillas, sexy, tan, sweaty boys... and house music."—Snooki

Staten Island Dump (n.)—a nickname for Angelina; a synonym of Staten Island Ferry (see also, Cockblock of the Century, The Instigation)

When you carry your belongings in trash bags and hail from the widely-touted armpit of America, you're asking for the dirtiest of nicknames, and Angelina's Jersey Shore cast mates were quick to offer up suggestions.

Example: "Standing in one corner…4'9", two inches with the pouf—Snooki Polizzi. Standing in the other corner, at 322 lbs, the Staten Island Dump."—Ronnie narrates before Snooki and Angelina's altercation. "Angelina is just like the Staten Island Ferry. Everybody gets a ride and it's free!"—The Situation

steaming Alpo (n.)—premium, smoking hot dog food that one metaphorically serves to the significant other he/she is cheating on (see also, note, IFF)

Example: "Ronnie is serving up steaming Alpo on a plate to her because he's doggin' Sam so much."—The Situation

summer teeth (n.)—what one's mouth features when his/her dentition is not aligned, leading "some" to be a different way from the others

Example: "She had summer teeth. Some are like this and some are like that."—Pauly D

sunglasses (n.)—the perfect accessory to protect one's eyes from UV rays, strobe lights at a club, and infection in a hot tub

Because the Jersey Shore cast is rarely awake before sunset, but they must maintain their street cred, they often don sunglasses at night. From Vinny's aviators to Snooki's diamond-encrusted pair, they can't seem to take off their shades in any and all locales.

Example: "The glasses are pretty much all crystaled-out, all bling-bling…If I get pulled over, I'm gonna get in trouble today 'cause, well, when you put them on, you can't really see, so I don't think you can drive with them because you'll get a ticket."—Snooki

test (n.)—a challenge, whether mental, physical, or emotional

Example: "I don't like tests. That's why I didn't go to college. Don't test me. Cause I will fail the majority of the time."—Ronnie on Sam's claim that she's "testing" him

t-shirt time(n.)—the point in the evening during which a guido changes from his wife-beater tank top (aka "the shirt before the shirt") into his (ideally Ed Hardy-esque) top for the night right before it's time to leave to hit the club

This stage of the evening is so pivotal for the male cast members of Jersey Shore that they eventually gave "t-shirt time" its own operatic tune.

Example: "Angelina just got into a fight with Mike before t-shirt time."—Vinny. "Hopefully, they don't get into another fight and she'll punch Mike in the face before t-shirt time."—Pauly D

tyrannosaurus rex arms (n. pl.)—appendages that are relatively small for one's size, akin to those of the extinct carnivorous dinosaur (see also, earrings)

As Ronnie observes his roommate Snooki engaging in guidette warfare against Angelina, he notices her prowess and brute force, despite her undersized limbs.

Example: "She's so tiny. Her arms are like tyrannosaurus rex arms."—Ronnie on Snooki

the unthinkable (n.)—the act of having sex with someone who is under five feet tall, has orange skin, and goes by the name "Snooki"

When a drunken evening turns into a roommate-on-roommate smushfest, Vinny has morning after regrets about going where one would imagine few men have gone before.

Example: "Dude, what the f--- did I do last night? I'm like, 'Did I bang Snooki last night? Did I do the unthinkable?'"—Vinny

wake-up-the-whole-entire-house time (n.)—the point of the day in which one roommate awakens the rest of his cohabitants by serenading them with song, pulling on covers, and stomping loudly

In a "cabs are here"-inspired moment, Pauly D personally awakens each and every roommate both aurally and physically. With his mock barber-shop-quartet-like voice, the shirtless Pauly stomps through the cast's Miami home and croons a tune unofficially titled, "Wake Up the Whole Entire House Time."

Example: "It's wake-up-the-whole-entire-house time… Oh yeah. Wake up yeah."—Pauly D

a watermelon and a pinhole (n.)—a metaphor used to describe the anatomical impossibility of Vinny "getting it in" Snooki (see also, DTF, DTS)

After playing Goldilocks to discover which male roommate's bed is coziest, Snooki finds herself under Vinny's covers. But a DTS session leads to something a bit more along the DTF lines and the two are soon crossing some boundaries, as Snooki confesses to Sam the next day.

Example: "Sam, you have no idea how big this thing was…It was like putting like a watermelon into a pinhole."—Snooki on sex with Vinny

wisely (adv.)—a word that gives away one's intellectual credibility when used in an anonymous note…perhaps unwisely (see also, note)

The mystery surrounding who wrote the dreaded note was not exactly difficult for Ronnie to decipher. The hotheaded roommate used his advanced vocabulary to crack the code, coming to the conclusion that Snooki (or Shnooki, as he calls her) couldn't possibly have penned the note because of the impressive usage of the term "wisely."

Example: "Right away I know it's either Shnooki or Jenny, but then I read the letter and I see the word 'wisely' and I know Shnooki doesn't use that kind of vocabulary."—Ronnie

Yodels (n. pl.)—a Drake's pre-packaged dessert treat, inexplicably ideally consumed after a hearty Italian meal, accompanied by milk

Vinny's mom is a serious cook, as the show's first season exhibited. And she made the trek down to Miami to whip up an epic Italian meal yet again for the show's sophomore season. The cast feasted on a massive spread of pasta, meatballs, sausage, and cold cuts. And for dessert? A pre-packaged, chocolate frosted cream-filled cake made by the Drake's company…with tall glasses of milk, of course.

Example: "We got milk and we got Yodels."—Vinny

youse (n. pl.)—a group of people

In a Sopranos-inspired moment before her departure from the series (for the second time), Angelina decided her roommates were no longer worthy of being named individually and instead, went with the collective "youse," popularized in the Northeastern United States. That's how we know she was serious about leaving—that and the volume of her voice combined with her packed suitcases.

Example: "All of youse in this house are f----- fake. And I want you all to know that I can't stand any of youse."—Angelina

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