PRAIRIE TALE
By Melissa Gilbert - Gilbert's new book is the latest in a long line of celebrity memoirs. Beyond covering the pitfalls of fame or revealing shreds of behind-the-scenes gossip, the real thing these celeb tomes have in common is clear: Cringe-inducing titles.
By Melissa Gilbert - Gilbert's new book is the latest in a long line of celebrity memoirs. Beyond covering the pitfalls of fame or revealing shreds of behind-the-scenes gossip, the real thing these celeb tomes have in common is clear: Cringe-inducing titles.
MY WORD IS MY BOND: A MEMOIR
By Sir Roger Moore - Given that James Bond is the opposite of corny, maybe we should be giving Moore bonus points for achieving the impossible: making a 007 reference seem lame.
By Sir Roger Moore - Given that James Bond is the opposite of corny, maybe we should be giving Moore bonus points for achieving the impossible: making a 007 reference seem lame.
A LITTLE BIT WICKED: LIFE, LOVE, AND FAITH IN STAGES
By Kristin Chenoweth - You can have Wicked, or you can have ''stages'' as a proxy for both physical performance spaces and phases in life. But you cannot have both, inelegantly crammed into one title.
By Kristin Chenoweth - You can have Wicked, or you can have ''stages'' as a proxy for both physical performance spaces and phases in life. But you cannot have both, inelegantly crammed into one title.
ROSES & THORNS: THE REALITY OF MY ROCK & ROLL FANTASY
By Bret Michaels - But...there are so many good phrases with the word poison in them. Opportunity: missed.
By Bret Michaels - But...there are so many good phrases with the word poison in them. Opportunity: missed.
SECRETS OF A SPARROW
By Diana Ross - Tiny, ordinary, easy to ignore — yup, ''sparrow'' sounds right, Diana Ross.
By Diana Ross - Tiny, ordinary, easy to ignore — yup, ''sparrow'' sounds right, Diana Ross.
LETTIN IT ALL HANG OUT: AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY BY RUPAUL
By RuPaul - Get it? Hang out? Oh, RuPaul, you entendre-loving scalawag.
By RuPaul - Get it? Hang out? Oh, RuPaul, you entendre-loving scalawag.
DON'T HASSEL THE HOFF: THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY
By Duh - Maybe David Hasselhoff was trying to reclaim the term ''the Hoff,'' strip it of its irony, and thereby transform himself and his image from cheesy punchline into legitimate icon. Haha, just kidding.
By Duh - Maybe David Hasselhoff was trying to reclaim the term ''the Hoff,'' strip it of its irony, and thereby transform himself and his image from cheesy punchline into legitimate icon. Haha, just kidding.
LET'S TALK ABOUT PEP
By Sandy ''Pepa'' Denton - Let's talk about Pep, bay-bee! Let's talk about you and me, let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be, let's talk abouuuuut who? Because with out that ''a,'' or ''Salt and,'' just ''pep'' is basically unrecognizable.
By Sandy ''Pepa'' Denton - Let's talk about Pep, bay-bee! Let's talk about you and me, let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be, let's talk abouuuuut who? Because with out that ''a,'' or ''Salt and,'' just ''pep'' is basically unrecognizable.
SLY MOVES: MY PROVEN PROGRAM TO LOSE WEIGHT, BUILD STRENGTH, GAIN WILL POWER, AND LIVE YOUR DREAM
By Sylvester Stallone - Fine, it's not technically a memoir — but this exercise self-help tome (availablein hardcover) was too good to pass up.
By Sylvester Stallone - Fine, it's not technically a memoir — but this exercise self-help tome (availablein hardcover) was too good to pass up.
FABULOSITY: WHAT IT IS & HOW TO GET IT
By Kimora Lee Simmons - Fair is fair: At least it's not a pun. But it is a made-up word that means ''rich and beautiful,'' and that's off-putting in its own way. (Plus, the answer to the second part seems to be ''have good genes and marry well.'' Which doesn't feel like it needs a whole book to explain.)
By Kimora Lee Simmons - Fair is fair: At least it's not a pun. But it is a made-up word that means ''rich and beautiful,'' and that's off-putting in its own way. (Plus, the answer to the second part seems to be ''have good genes and marry well.'' Which doesn't feel like it needs a whole book to explain.)
SEINLANGUAGE
By Jerry Seinfeld - It would be an awkward title for anyone, but from one of the funniest, most clever comedians ever? Oh, Jerry.
By Jerry Seinfeld - It would be an awkward title for anyone, but from one of the funniest, most clever comedians ever? Oh, Jerry.
PRYOR CONVICTIONS AND OTHER LIFE SENTENCES
By Richard Pryor - Maybe it's a trend: Brilliant comedian, lousy titleist. Yeesh.
By Richard Pryor - Maybe it's a trend: Brilliant comedian, lousy titleist. Yeesh.
MILES TO GO
By Miley Cyrus - Yes, one more mile to the promised land of more inventive title writing.
By Miley Cyrus - Yes, one more mile to the promised land of more inventive title writing.
sTORI Telling
By Tori Spelling) - And let's not forget her VH1 series So noTORIous. Here's hoping there's a third education-geared installment called tuTORIal. Or a period drama called vicTORIan, to be followed by (also acceptable: hisTORIan) a photography book called picTORIal. Just throwing stuff out there.
By Tori Spelling) - And let's not forget her VH1 series So noTORIous. Here's hoping there's a third education-geared installment called tuTORIal. Or a period drama called vicTORIan, to be followed by (also acceptable: hisTORIan) a photography book called picTORIal. Just throwing stuff out there.
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